I got a call late last night from a dear friend who told me she’s likely getting a divorce. As I sat up in bed to focus on the call and her situation, I realized how I felt when I was in her shoes. As a young person who has also been divorced, I know the thoughts of doubt, hurt and uncertainty that she was having. The longer I spoke with her (and then her sister) I also began to understand why I never doubted my own divorce.
I got married right after turning 20 to someone who I had spent the prior 5 years dating. We were married for 3 years before I pulled the plug. My friend is in a similar boat – she married at 18 and is now facing the reality of a pending divorce at 25. I could hear how worried and scared she was just thinking of starting over on her own. …and I know that I was once there, too.
However, looking back, I can see that it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I’ve grown more from my divorce than anything else I’ve experienced. Only through that experience did I learn not to doubt my integrity, character, and hard work. I began to see my value and worth outside of my appearance and the things I owned. I learned what it meant to be a real friend and how truly special it is to find those real friends.
…and now to one of my very best friends, I am able to stand alone and tell her that I cannot and will not Doubt her decisions. I will be beside her to hold her hand and to laugh with her through the good times and the bad. Real friends care about truth and happiness.
The truth is: I don’t doubt that it will hurt and I don’t doubt that she will be stronger, wiser, and better because of this.