So the daily word prompt word today is qualm. I have never used that word in a sentence in my life. I know what it means but it’s one of those awkward big words that just doesn’t occur in everyday conversation.
Here’s a funny story.
Remember my spider in the shower post? Well I had another spider incident today but it was in my car this time.
I’m driving home from work today and I usually call my husband to let him know I’m on my way home and we share work stories. Let me reiterate here, it takes me 45 minutes to an hour to get home okay. Remember this. And today I had to make an emergency UPS run so my voyage home was going to be slightly delayed.
So I’m listening to him tell me about his work day. I’m paying close attention to the road because I’m in start-stop traffic. He’s good into this story and I’d just finish checking my mirrors when I notice something.
Don’t get me wrong, peripheral vision is great. It’s fantastic. But today was not one of those days!
Excuse my French from this point on because this is truly what I said.
I’m good and absorbed in my husband’s story when I see something move out of the corner of my eye.
I swear to God I almost crashed.
There sitting IN MY FACE, on the dashboard, was a spider. This spider was the size of a dime, black, hairy, had white spots all over it.
I completely interrupted my husband with bouts of “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT! IS THAT A SPIDER! IT BETTER NOT FUCKING MOVE?! OMG ITS MOVING! SHIT, SHIT, I’M DRIVING! I HAVE TO PULL OVER! I CAN’T HANDLE THIS! SAVE ME!”
And he’s on the other end of the line like, “How’d a spider get in the car? Did you leave the windows open at work? A dime isn’t that big. Just pull over on the side of the highway.”
This spider ended up moving over to the passenger window and I’m like YES! because then I could open the window and it’ll fly out of the car. Of course it doesn’t do that so I lose sight of it and that freaks me out even more. I still have at least 25 minutes left on this drive! My adrenaline meter is off the charts but I’d rather not cause a 50 car pile up so since it’s out of sight I just keep calm and keep driving.
My husband was on the phone with me the whole time. I pretty much told him there was no way I was going to make it to UPS. So I got this plan into my mind that I would come home first, have him open the passenger side door and let the spider out and then go to UPS after because I’d feel safe in my vehicle again. During the rest of my drive, I keep my peripheral on the spot where that spider disappeared and occasionally he would pop his little self out and, I imagine, check to see if the coast was clear so he could spread his web all over my car!
So I pull up in the driveway and I’m begging my husband to hurry up and get out there and take care of this situation. He comes out and asks me where it is. Of course, I suddenly get some balls and take a picture of the thing and then scream at him to hurry up again, lol.
He opens the door slightly and the spider moves up to the window. At that point, I had opened the window. So Spider crawls into the window crack and my husband makes the “hurry up and roll the window back up motion” because the spider is on the outside of the car at this point. Upon examination he goes, “Damn that is a big spider.” and proceeds to take a picture of it from the outside of the car.
From this point on I laughed my ass off because that spider decided enough was enough and jumped. I was safe inside the car but my husband jumped like 3 feet back and I died. I rolled down the window and told him, “THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS AFRAID WOULD HAPPEN WHILE I WAS DRIVING!” Then my laughter got ruined because a piece of tree fell down in the car and I screamed.