The Unique Linda Award

Let me start by saying, I absolutely love this woman! like LOVE times 9000!

Now then, to get an idea of where this post is going it would probably be a good idea to read Linda’s post first. Click her name.

You see, I so graciously nominated her for this lovely award but I cheated. The rules state that you are supposed to ask your nominees three questions not regurgitate the questions asked of you. It’s actually forbidden to do so, am I right Linda? Since I broke the rules, I’ve been re-awarded. Not be confused with rewarded! Make sure you understand the difference! Rewards from Linda are not given lightly. So not only am I charged with answering the three questions every blogger receives with this reward but I have bonus questions for being lazy which will definitely make me think twice about taking the lazy way out the next go around.

1. If you could live in a Dr. Seuss book, which would you pick?

I would choose One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. That was always an awesome story because it talked about all the different fishes and other animals you encounter. I look back on it now as an adult and see it as a great learning resource for children to recognize that people and places are not the same and how unique that makes the world in general.

2. If you could have perfect weather, what would it be?

Perfect weather is a dream, okay? I live in Ohio. That means the weatherman is always wrong! For example, today is supposed to be sunny with a chance of rain. A CHANCE sounds like a small percentage say 5-10%. I’m not even paid to predict anything (though how cool would that be??) and I know it’s more of a 90% chance it’s going to rain. You can smell it in the air and dark clouds are a giant indicator. Think the weatherman needs to take a walk outside and absorb the air before telling us lies.

I digress. My perfect weather would consist of all 4 seasons perfectly in the parameters of the months that they are supposed to be in. That means no snow in May dammit.

3.  What question would you like to ask yourself?

Right now I’m asking myself why don’t I have time to read? You’d think after leaving a demanding job to a less demanding job I’d have more time to read but I’ve been on the same book for almost a week and that is very uncharacteristic of me! I’m also asking myself why did Prince go and die because Kiss is playing on my Pandora right now and I’m jamming!

Now on to my bonus questions. I mean they were literally demandingly specific to me. If you don’t believe me, that means you didn’t click on Linda’s post. SHAME! Click it now.
It should be noted here that Linda is totally psychic because she asked the first part of the question and then guessed that I do not indulge in caffeine delivery systems in the morning but I still have to answer the questions as if I did indulge because I’m a writer and I can do this! YEAH! (Were you possibly a cheerleader in a past life? I wasn’t because that defines girly which I’m not but curiosity and all that)

You’ve just awoken.  You haven’t had your coffee/tea/preferred caffeine delivery system yet, and the following people are making demands of you as you endeavor to start your day.   What do you say to each of them?

1. Husband/wife/domestic partner:

This is easy. My husband is always gone when I wake up. He works the dead people shift; i.e. the hours between 3am and 9am everyday except Sunday. Nel is usually knocked out in dreamland somewhere. On Sundays, he doesn’t wake me up either cause his body is so used to waking up that early that he’s up and I’m still sleep. Did I mention how much I love sleeping?

2. Child

Yeah….. I’m not there……. yet. Ask me again in a year.

3. Pet

If it’s Isabel: “SHUT UP! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Lots of grumbling. She has a habit of howling like a hyena (she’s a cat for crying out loud!) at the crack of dawn and I want to kill her cause my alarm hasn’t gone off yet.

If it’s Milliardo: “Go away drooly. I don’t want your drool on me.” He’s also a cat, btw. Or if I’m walking around he likes to walk in front of me and plop his body in my walking path because it’s a game of the human might possibly step on me but if she steps over me I’m going to to try and grab her feet with my sharp clawed front paws or bite them.

4. Boss

I’m going to go off of today and say “I keep forgetting to bring your pie pan back! I’m so terrible! I promise I’ll bring it back tomorrow!” I’ve been saying this since Monday because somehow I keep walking out of the house without it. I blame the cats!

5. X with X being a person/being of your choice

I’m going to say X is M. Not as in XM radio if that thought possibly crossed your mind. M as in my MIA co-author. She may not post on the blog but she texts me every morning about work related things or about the book she’s reading that I forced her to read. Remember, I like to read vivaciously through others. If you haven’t read that post, click here.

6. Mailman

You know, mail is not my thing unless I know something is coming for me. That’s my husband’s territory. In my defense, I got this way because when we lived in an apartment there was only one key to the mailbox and since he always gets home before me, he held the key and would always get the mail. So now I just don’t think about it and if there’s mail for me, he puts it on my laptop or opens it if it looks important and tells me about it later.

7. A fellow blogger  (not me because I know what you’d say to me!)

I feel like the sentence would start with “HAHAHA….” or “Listen….” because we would probably be continuing a long standing conversation about something or other. You all make me laugh or smile in some form or another so thank you for that 🙂

8.  Barista

I DON’T DRINK COFFEE OKAY! I know! It’s a crime! I barely drink tea and pop is out of the question. Unless we’re talking ginger brew. Does that count??? If I were to see a Barista, and I’m going based of Starbucks here, I would probably tell her she spelled my name wrong.. I get that a lot. I guess Chanel is a really hard name to spell and often comes with a phantom “T”.

9. Neighbor

I don’t talk to my neighbors…. Listen, in my defense, they’re all old people. And I mean like 80-90 years old. Before you judge me, the one across the street likes to sit in his garage off to the side where he thinks people can’t see him and stare at us when we’re out in about. The one across the other street (we live on the corner), came over to talk and was literally stuck on the fact that we’re a young black couple in a predominantly white neighborhood and pointed out all the black people he knew that lived on the street. (Thanks guy.)The third neighbor is a hermit. Well except the time he walked over and into the house when we were being shown to it by the realtor. Other than that, haven’t seen him. So tell me, would you talk to my neighbors? Be honest.

10. Random guy in elevator

Is it Idris Elba? Or is he on Idris Elba’s level of hotness? Is this too shallow?? Oh wait, I’m only half awake here so I would probably say “Hey, floor 3, thanks” and go back to being a zombie until I got my caffeinated delivery system in my system.

Did I mention how much I love Linda? Because I most assuredly do. This was so ridiculously fun that I can’t wait until the next one. Linda, please keep being your lovely, snarky, awesome, folk-hating, stellar storytelling self! ❤ If you haven’t followed her yet, there’s something wrong and you need to remedy that situation right now!


34 thoughts on “The Unique Linda Award

  1. OK… I was in the middle of barn chores and took a moment to sit in the barn, with a cat and do a little light reading. This… Is… Awesome! Linda is incredible! She is right up there with dragons and fairies and anything magical! In fact, I think Linda has wings! Although she says she doesn’t like sweet and calming folk music, it is just because she has trouble showing her softer side. 😉💚
    Nel, as always, thank you for the amazing post and laughter this morning! I have a feeling there’s going to be a Nel vs Linda face-off in the near future!! Love you both!


    1. Light reading?! Hahaha. I hope your cat enjoyed this as much as you did. I absolutely agree with you! Linda is one incredible lady and I can totally see a Nel vs. Linda faceoff or maybe even a collaboration? Thank you for reading and commenting. We both appreciate and love you right back! ❤ 🙂


      1. A face off? Hey, I’ll participate in that if I get to choose the face to replace it. I have a feeling Nel and I will be having all kinds of interactions. Mostly it will be her flouting the rules and me reminding her of it in a very rude way. It’s what we do.


    2. You never know what kind of shit you’ll find in the barn! Obviously you found a little batshit cause you’re crazy woman! I have wings? If so, they are vestigial. VERY vestigial. I’ll have true wings when pigs fly!

      No, I do not like folk music and it is foisted upon me on a regular basis! FOISTED! Did you see what Nel likes? Nel likes Prince. Be more like Nel. Love you, too Roda.


  2. haha I remember there was a political commentator in the UK who was made to do weather reports and so he said things like “it’s April, in England, take an umbrella!” I don’t know why but that mention of weather reports never being right made me think of that (I know- random!) hahaa I ask myself that question all the time!! Hehe don’t worry, in London no one speaks to their neighbours, so no judgement 😉 Oh gosh now I’m dreaming of meeting Idris Elba in an elevator- to be honest I’d probably just faint or be too overwhelmed by his hotness to do anything but stare at my shoes.


    1. Hahahahaha! I’m glad we aren’t the only ones. I just think its awkward to walk up to people and say “hey, I’m your neighbor.” not to mention the yawning generation gap. I don’t even remember their names and I’m pretty positive they don’t remember mine either.
      I quite enjoy your randomness! I feel like that’s an obvious thing to say to Englanders. Doesn’t it rain like all the time all year long?
      If Idris Elba was near me I would probably faint too but I like to think that I would play it cool and not swoon all over him hahahahaha!


      1. hehehehe well I’m glad to hear this is a universal thing and not just an awkward London thing.
        hehehehe yes it does! :/
        hahahaha I know that I just wouldn’t be able to play it cool- I think I’ve seen a famous person once in my life and all I did was make weird facial expressions at them 😉 (which now that I think about it makes me sound more monkey-like than ever!)


        1. The only famous person I’ve ever been close to, not counting authors, is Leslie Jones and Jessica Williams but that was only because I happened to notice they were standing next to us at this benefit concert and I freaked, leaped over the person next to me to get a blurry picture of her. Hahahaha


            1. I have to say I haven’t yet. But! Now that you’ve told me, I’m going to check out his stand up. I only know British comedians from shows like IT crowd, Peep Show and most recently Chewing Gum.


  3. This was proper fun! 🙂
    Loved that you were re-awarded (not rewarded) 😛
    Hey, is your husband a baker? Just thinking re early am working hours 😀 not to be nosy but I wanted to give it a guess 😀 you can just say no if that’s not the case…

    You’re into KISS? Really? That’s fab! Imagine being in an elevator with Idris Elba and ‘I was made for loving you’ was the elevator music? 😛


    1. Hahaha np. He’s a UPS package handler. So while we’re all sleeping, hes unloading and reloading trucks full of packages waiting to go out to the masses.
      I think I really would faint if that ever happened to me. That is just too perfect for my senses to handle!


      1. I bet he’s handled some of my packages! I’m on a first name basis with our UPS guy. Fedex, too for that matter. I’ve gotten stuff from Ohio. Lots of it. Next time he handles a package coming to me, I expect a note on it. That’s how I met my husband the mailman. Oh gosh, that’s another post you’ve reminded me to write. Hey, why are my comments coming up all wonky? Maybe I’m in conversation mode, but they look weird here. Par for the course I”d say!


        1. See we were rated to be friends with our package delivering husbands! I will surely let him know that notes must’ve left on Linda’s packages! He works in one of the two main hubs up in the Northeast so it’s entirely possible!


      2. Oh! I was trying to think of all the professions that had these working hours but never thought of UPS! Cool! 🙂

        Hahaha… you never know, Universe might just answer that particular fantasy some day 😀 Don’t forget to take a picture! 😀


  4. I’ve been gone all day and came home to this! How much fun is that?! The good news is that this gave me a fantastic laugh. The bad news is that I wrote about a two page comment and as it was being posted my internet connection went down due to rain and I lost it all! Where the hell is my lovely fiber connection? Stupid phone company! Where!? I can see the fiber lines from my window. They are right there points See? Sigh…

    Let me see of I can replicate some of the over -the-top, amazingly witty, best thing that has ever been written forever comment. Hey, I can say that! You didn’t see it. It could have been all of that and more. I’m smirking here, but you can’t see me so it doesn’t count.

    Let me start by saying that I love Nel 10000 times over, +1. Nel, did you really think you would outdo me with this? You know how competitve I am. The thing is…it’s true and now you know how much I love you! We’re just one big ol’ Woodstock love fest, aren’t we?

    “It’s actually forbidden to do so, am I right Linda?” Yes, that is correct, no regurgitating allowed. No are not even allowed to revisit your lunch.

    I propose that we should let our Nel play weatherperson for a week. Post a seven day forecast for your area and see how you do. You also need to include your local weatherperson’s forecast for comparison. Yes, this is a good idea and you must do it now.

    Prince…sigh Kiss…awesome song. Prince…sigh

    As for the bonus questions, I would just like to point out that Nel has broken the rules again. AGAIN! I asked that she give answers to each question BEFORE caffeine AND AFTER caffeine. Did she do this? NO, no she did not. What am I going to do with you Nel? Actually, this whole public shaming thing is pretty fun so you don’t have to answer that question.

    Am I totally psychic? Yes, I am. I knew you were going to say that. I just want to point out that because of this, I won’t be doing the same weather predicting thing that Nel will be doing. It just wouldn’t be fair.

    I was not a cheerleader. I am not girly. I was the fat kid sitting in the corner reading. I’m still the fat kid sitting in the corner reading, only it’s on a computer now. I write now and then, too. It’s a good thing I have this computer for that because I lost my green crayon.

    I am very disheartened to hear that you are so mean to your cat Isabel. I’m thrilled that she has my middle name. I am doubly thrilled that it is spelled correctly and doesn’t have the superfluous L and E at the end. Such a waste of perfectly good letters.

    Your boss brought in a lovely cherry pie. You should return that pan yesterday. Then again you had to go up in a cherry picking basket to pick the cherries for the pie. I deem it is only correct for you to keep the pie plate up to a week before you incur late fees. I feel like I’m channeling Blockbuster.

    It is not ok that you don’t drink coffee. It is not, not even a little bit. It speaks to the fact that you must be an alien, and not one of the Trump-hating kinds. What do you drink? Water with a battery acid chaser?

    I don’t talk to my neighbors, either. That’s not completely true. I can only see one house from mine, and I like them. She raises the horses in the pasture outside my living room window. He bushhogs our field every year. Nice people. I talk to them approximately 1 1/2 times a year. The rest of my neighbors are too far away. It’s tough to talk to the neighbors when you have to drive there to do it.

    I am very impressed with your neighbor who found it imperative that he point out every other black person in the vicinity. I think he was encouraging you to start a black social club. If you do that, can I come? I want to come just to confuse your neighbor and hang out with you because I think the world of you. If you think it would be odd for me to come to your black social club I want you to know that I once was the only white person at this huge party in Brooklyn. It was quite the experience for this small-town girl from lily-white Maine. I tell you this only because you might think I wouldn’t be qualified to hang out in a black social club, but I have experience! Maybe we could invite some other folks and, in spite of your neighbor, we wouldn’t care about skin color. Then it would be just a social club. Yeah, that would be cool. We wouldn’t serve coffee, tea or this thing you call pop. Soda! It’s soda, woman! What do you drink? shakes head from side to side

    I can’t get off this whole black/white separating neighbor of yours. What would he do if someone moved into the neighborhood who was a quarter each of Native American, Malaysian, Saudi and Jamaican? I would pay to see his face. There would be stuttering…lots of stuttering.

    Let’s just make one thing perfectly clear. Idris Elba isn’t a random guy in an elevator. Idris Elba isn’t a random anything. Idris Elba is about as non-random as a man can be. He is amazing, simply amazing. He’s not bad looking, either. looks off into space. What? Oh, I was just lost in thought, yeah that’s it… No, I am not going to tell you what I was thinking! smiles and sighs

    So that’s it for my comment on Nel’s very fun post, even though she did not follow directions properly. I think she does this just to provoke more snarkiness. I’m being played but I love it, so am I truly being played? Too philosophical?

    This is just a shadow of that amazing comment I lost earlier. I’m really sorry you didn’t get a chance to read it because it truly was the very best thing I’ve ever written. 😛 Ah well…this will have to suffice.

    Nel, just in case you were wondering how very much I love you. Let me just say that there aren’t enough heart emojis in the world…


    1. Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! 😂😂😂 See this? This counts as what I would say to a fellow blogger BEFORE caffeinated delivery systems! I literally opened my eyes 4 minutes and you’re right. This is beyond THE BEST comment ever! Are you sure the first one was as epic as this? I’ll have to take your word for it.
      Dammit! Did I really break the rules again?!?! I guess I’m going to have another post waxing poetic about how much I love you again. Btw my internet is jealous of your internet. Where’s my fiber indeed!
      I’m a fan of the black social club. I think it would be the best social club in the world. (Promise I’m not channeling Trumpkin there. Trump hating remember?) I think if someone who was a quarter of everything you said walked up to talk to him it may overload his senses and they wouldn’t be the one to explain why he had a stroke on the sidewalk.
      Idris Elba……. See my mind went places. Okay he’s not random at all but I could randomly bump into him and maybe cop a feel on accident… Okay I wouldn’t be brave enough to grab his ass but I’d heavily think about it and dream about it and…. Yep I can see where your mind went.
      😍😍 You’re the best! Please don’t ever leave me. And yes! Maybe we should invent more emojis and give Google a run for their money! But then we’d be rich and could go off to an exotic corner of the world and read together. Oh the possibilities!


    1. Thank you!!! I love her so much haha. We have such a cool relationship. All my follower regulars are amazing people 😁


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