You ever think about the people in your life and the level of trust they have in you? This is a bit random but the 23rd of this month was my one year anniversary working at my job. I’ve shared this story in the past but I pretty much bred myself to work with animals with what I thought would be the rest of my life. I went to school for biology and switched majors to wildlife conservation because I had huge dreams of being a zookeeper some day. I never made it to a zoo but I did get to experience a few wildlife rehabilitation internships, including the start up of one at my college and I also got to go to Maui for 7 months for a breeding and propagation internship on endemic birds.
One day however, I had a bit of wake up call so to speak and had to divert my animal attention to domestics instead of wildlife. So for a few years after working with all the wildlife I transitioned to working in pet retail, vet clinics and doggie day cares. I grew to love the work that I do, especially with the variety of pets on a daily basis but the jobs themselves started to take a toll. The vet clinics became hard to deal with especially when you dealt with pet parents losing their pets or trying to let them go. The pet retail became mentally exhausting because of the constant people interactions and doggie day care just became exhausting. My last stint in retail I got a taste of being a manager which was a first for me. I was always encouraged into management but I never wanted it because of the ridiculous hours a manager had to work. Work/life balance is pretty important to me.
The job I’m in now is a pretty chill job in comparison to all the other jobs I had combined. You’ve all seen the stories from the previous year of me picking cherries and dealing with honeybees. Not really in my job description but fun nonetheless. In the past 6 months or so, my boss has had me dabbling a little bit in the company’s finances such as depositing checks, paying bills and even checking payroll hours. My job description is Office Manager guys. I’m a paper pusher/morale booster in this place. So for me to be involved in the money part of this business was a bit shocking to me at first. Obviously, I can be trusted. I’m a very honest person and I care about keeping my job cause you know, can’t eat if I don’t work and I really, really like eating.
It just sort of blows my mind these days the things shared with me. I don’t doubt that I can be trusted of course but I wonder when did the switch go off in my boss’s head that I can be trusted on an even greater level? I know the whole point of a job is to make money and grow to make more money because who likes living paycheck to paycheck but how is this gauged?
This can be related to my personal life as well. I’m generally a very open person and have no problem talking about anything, even the uncomfortable topics. It’s frowned upon sometimes I’m sure because, well, you need to have some type of filter but when you just have this feeling of comfortable with a person, it’s like the dam opens and it all just floods out. I often wonder how I gained this level of confidence in myself to just be able to share stuff with people I feel I can trust or who can generally relate to my experiences. Or they might not be able to relate at all. For example, I work with an 80 year old who is completely racist even if he won’t admit it to himself. Most times he doesn’t realize what he’s saying but I believe he knows exactly what he’s saying. Does it bother me? Not in the least. I can go toe to toe with the best of them but he’s 80. Do I aim to change his mind? No. There’s no point. But I do make my stance on things very clear and I think he has a respect towards me that he didn’t expect. Honestly, I didn’t expect it either. I never know sometimes what I’m going to say until I say it. But that’s how it should be right? But then I think about people like the president who I feel should think before he opens his mouth ever and I feel like I contradict myself.
Anyway, my thoughts are all over the place. I think ultimately I’m just wondering if people have like a trust meter that they use to gauge how much they tell a person or if it really doesn’t matter that much because with trust comes confidence and I guess you’d need a certain level of confidence in order to trust people? I don’t know.
If you were able to keep up with my jumble of thoughts, what do you think of it all? Let me know in the comments below!