Facebook Friday 5/4/18

Hey, hey! It’s Facebook Friday!

I apologize yet again for being lax with posts this week especially with skipping Endangered Thursdays yet again. Because my OB appointments seem to fall on Thursdays all the time, I’m thinking of changing the day for Endangered to Monday instead of Thursday. That way it’s first ont he list and out of the way. What do you all think?

This week was pretty great weather wise. It’s been consistenly in the 80s and all the leaves and flowers seem to have some kind of accerlerated blooming because we went from bare trees to huge leaf buds anf flowers everywhere in the span of like a day. Nature is so cool!

Facebook Fridays is a weekly segment of RT where I share some fun stuff I observed on Facebook this past week. I share a fun meme or screenshot, a video that resonated in some capacity and a photo of my own.

I didn’t share any memes on social media today but since today is May 4th, it’s only appropiate that I find an adequate meme to share anyway:

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May the 4th be with you all! Also, besides being revenge of the 5th, tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo. If you plan on indulging, drink one for me too since I can only vicariously live through others for another 2 months. 😉

Even though I was pretty busy, I was able to share a video on Facebook that absolutely blew my mind with it’s sorcery! Check it out:


Did you know cattails could do that?? Cause I sure didn’t. I’ve seen them a million times and I’ve even touched a couple but I never thought to try to break them apart!

Lastly, I didn’t share any photos on Facebook but Tuesday was my birthday and my coworker brought me some nice goods that I figured I’d take a picture of (check out the car fobs making a cameo too in the bottom right):

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She bought me a money tree which I shouldn’t be able to kill (knock on wood), 2 bags of Cheetos and an apple pie that’s not pictured. I had a friend ask me what she should get me for my birthday that’s not baby related and I told her air purifying plants would be nice that are animal safe and my coworker overheard me tell her that and bought me one. Funny story with the Cheetos, she walked into the office one day and I had two bags of open Cheetos on my desk; one regular and one flamin hot and I was alternating eating from each bag cause the baby couldn’t decide which flavor it wanted so we ate both. Actually bonus picture, cause naturally she took one that day. Please excuse my messy work desk:

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No shame! I love food, hahahaha.

I hope you all enjoyed this Facebook Friday. I hope to be regularly posting again next week. Thanks for bearing with me! You all are awesome. I hope you have a great weekend filled with lots of sunshine and I’ll see you Monday!

🙂

Customer Reps

Ever have to call a place to get answers and it takes about 8 times talking to multiple reps to finally get an answer?

I swear I’ve gotten the run around so many times just in the past few days. For example, I received a “final notice” in the mail about a payment for an OB visit threatening to send me to collections essentially if I didn’t pay it. Funny thing is, I paid it 2 months ago. Have a receipt to prove it and even faxed my receipt proof over to the hospital, again, 2 months ago. So the woman goes to look, checks, sees that I did that, and goes, oh well there’s a new balance on your account. Do you want to pay that now?

Um… why would I pay the next bill when they can’t even get the past bill sorted out?? I don’t know if it’s just hospitals in America but if you overpay on a hospital bill or like a student loan bill, they’ll keep your money. They won’t say oopsie, you paid too much, no. They’ll just keep the difference.

Speaking of student loans, that’s another one I recently called about. Called looking to get my monthly payment lowered cause bills are kicking my butt and I want to get caught up. So I call and a woman tells me exactly what to do in order to get my payments lowered to as little as $0 a month for a year. I do that and my April autopay payment went away. I’m thinking, yay! this is great! I have a break to spend money where I want to right? Wrong. They only postponed them for 2 months and then they resume. So I call the woman back and tell her, listen, either I get a lower payment or I don’t pay. They’re student loans. I don’t care about them. Well the last thing they want you to do is stop paying so she tries to get me to go all these other options and I had to keep reiterate what the other rep told me.

Well this pretty much led to her being nasty because I wouldn’t do what she said and she was telling me stuff that was frankly untrue. So I had to get off the phone with her ASAP before I said some things she wouldn’t like. I let that stew for about an hour and then called back and got a helpful woman who apologized for the viscious one.

I don’t get why customer service reps feel the need to get nasty with you. I get their job is to take your money most of the time but do you honestly think I’m going to want to give you my money when you give me attitude over the phone especially considering I didn’t raise my tone of voice or anything and struggled to be as polite as possible throughout my frustration? I love when reps also feel the need to spout how long they’ve been with the company and they know everything when they’re still wrong. It’s truly okay to admit when you’re wrong and put me on hold to get the right answer.

I worked customer service for many years; face to face at that! I don’t think people realize how hard it is to do everything possible almost to the point of getting on your knees and licking the customer’s boots in order to make sure they get off the phone or leave your store happy. It’s a struggle. But to be the customer and get the attitude just for pointing out that someone is feeding you misinformation?? That’s just rude and it’s sad you have to go through about 10 people to find that 1.

But at the end of the day, thank goodness for that 1.

Have you ever had bad customer rep issues? How do you normally handle it? Are you like me and keep calling back to you get the competent one? Let me know in the comments below!

Baby Brain

Apparently during pregnancy, especially the last trimester, women experience what’s called baby brain. It basically means you become more forgetful than usual. I haven’t felt very forgetful I think. I know I take my rings off and forget where I sat them or I’ll almost forget to take my prenatal vitamins but nothing too wild.

Yesterday, I totally had baby brain. Just full on thought I was losing it and on top of that, my husband must have it too cause he didn’t catch what we both missed either.

I was driving home from work when I decided I wanted fruit. On Sunday, before seeing Avengers: Infinity War, we went to this brunch spot called First Watch to get brunch before the movie; curbs you wanting to spend $5 on a small popcorn. I got what’s called an elevated egg sandwich. It’s basically a BLT but it uses arugla, no tomato, no mayo, but with cheese, mashed avocado and an egg on a brioche bun. It normally comes with a side of potatoes but I wanted fruit so I got seasonal fruit bowl. After eating that, I decided I craved more fruit; lots of fruit my brain screamed!

Fast forward to Monday and I’m leaving work. I decide I’m going to go shop and get all this fruit cause I just want to eat fruit. And mall food yesterday but mostly fruit, lol. I go to Acme which is our local grocery store cause it’s on my way home. It’s after 5pm and it’s warm as hell outside so I forgo wearing my jacket. I leave the car and go to lock it but it doesn’t lock. I realized it was cause my car keys were in my jacket pocket that was still in the car. So I reach in, grab my keys and go into the store.

It should be noted here that I have key fobs not actual keys. This means, I don’t need to take a key out to unlock or lock the car or to even start the car cause it’s push to start. I just need the fob on my person. It looks like this:

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Technically all fobs have a key inside of them too. But it’s used for valet purposes where you give the valet the fob and you keep your key:

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As you can see, I have two fobs and they are identical. But one is for each car cause my husband and I swap between the sedan and the coupe depending on the month.

Anyway, I’m in Acme and I’m buying all this fruit okay. Watermelon, honeydew, strawberries, pears, grapes, etc. Husband actually convinced me to buy grapes that were touted to taste like cotton candy. They kind of do but they’re still gross just fyi. Those grapes are all his. I go through the self checkout and I pull my keys out to scan the little Acme card so I get all the discounts right. I carry a small purse. I mean it’s like tablet size purse so I just clip my keys to the strap, pay and walk away. I get in the car, drive home and that’s that. I greet the husband and then walk into the living room to greet the cats. I’m greeting Isabel and my keys drop off my purse. I scared the living Jesus out of her so I wented to apologize for that and picked up my keys.

I’m sitting here holding them and I notice that they feel awfully light. Two fobs are heavy for the record and that’s not including everything else on my keychain. I look down and half my set is missing. My husband goes “you’re missing a whole car!” and not only that, my house key, garage key and the key to my mom’s property. So of course I’m frantic. I go and retrace my steps from the garage to the house. I call Acme to see if anyone turned in keys and just generally flipping out. It wasn’t the thought of losing my house keys cause that’s minimal to replace but it was replacing the damn fob!

So we hop in the car and go back to Acme to retrace all our steps to make sure the keys weren’t in the parking lot or in the cart or in the store. Talk to customer service again about keys that may  have been turned in; everything we can think of. We go back home and I’m admitting defeat, on the verge of tears cause that’s more money I didn’t want to spend. PLUS! What are the odds the key I lost wasn’t the key that got me home?? It would have been easier if I’d lost that one then I wouldn’t be able to go home and would have found them quickly I think.

I decide to call Honda to see what the damage is going to be. Millardo comes walking over flopping over on his back looking cute and I’m so upset, I kept pushing him away. But he’s persistent and he’s also cute so while I’m on the phone waiting to get a quote, I look down at him and out of the corner of my eye I see a Honda logo…

I look at the cat.

I look at the keys.

My husband walks in the room and looks at the cute cat and notices what I notice. And we literally  just stared at the floor for a good 2 minutes because sitting next to the wheel of my laptop stand are my freaking keys! I’m still on the phone with Honda and I just start laughing hysterically. I still get the quote cause I was already on the phone anyway — $250 to replace if you were curious (kill me) — and my husband reaches down and picks up the keys and is like “what is this sorcery?”. Then he blames the cat, hahaha.


So that’s one of my baby brain stories. I still have 10 weeks to go so I have time for more wouldn’t you say? Moral of this story is, cats have magic. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 🙂

Updates w/ Pictures

Hello! I am apologizing now for totally slacking on my bloghopping/commenting in the past few days. Turns out our 3-5 day flooring project ending up spanning 7 days with a few hiccups, a little bit of stress, lots of stray cats and a fat raccoon. Week before last, I told you all about how we were starting this huge flooring renovation project that basically involves ripping up all the carpet in the downstairs portion of our house and replacing it with luxury vinyl plank because carpet is gross and with baby on the way, I wanted fresh, new, clean, allergy free floors for him (or her) to roly poly around on. Because I’m less than 11 weeks away from popping, my husband had to take all last week off to help move big furniture out of the way and what not cause I’m on a weight lift restriction.

Anyway, our house foundation is part concrete slab and part basement because at some point, an additon was added on. Well when the contractor came and ripped up the carpet, we got this huge surprise at this old looking, 1960’s tile — not just slab under there. At first the contractor was worried the tiles might have asbestos cause they were ancient. That would have threw a big monkey wrench in the project if that was the case. Turned out though there was another layer of tile underneathe the first one… and then in some spaces there was no tile at all. They popped up so easily and snapped easily that he determined (thankfully) that we did not have asbestos and the project continued. Here’s a picture of what 2 layers of 1960’s tile looks like, before and after:

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Please excuse the ugly yellow walls from this point forward btw. We wanted to paint during the Christmas break but most paint has chemicals in it that may cause birth defects so my husband told me absolutely no painting til the baby is out of me. So anyway, here are some pictures of what the floor looked like with the ugly carpet before and then the concrete layer after:

Once down to that base layer, he had to fill in some spots to make some areas of the floor level with the rest. This involved putting down something called Feather Finish which is a concrete mix basically that levels floors. In the one room with the addition that has a wood subfloor, he had to scrape all the staples off and hammer down any nails poking up before filling in holes or rough spots. By the end of day seven, these were the results:

The only place that got new carpet were the stairs because we need that traction. I think it turned out pretty great. Doesn’t look so 1950’s anymore. A few hiccups we had was figuring out we did not have enough flooring by like day three cause some numbers got mixed up between the contractor and the guy we bought the flooring from. Then there was a day or two where he could only work half day instead of the full day. Lastly, we had a transition issue and technically still do around the tile where the woodstove is but he’s working with us to figure that out. Most of the final pictures were taken in the dark so one day when we have sun again, I’ll take better ones.

Oh, as for the raccoon, that happened on the very last day — Monday in fact. He had an extra long work day that day but it was 70 degrees outside so he left the patio door opened while he worked. Lots of animals came walking past like the feral cats because I know they live under out back deck but it was in the night time when he was finishing that  surprised the hell out of me. Here I am sitting there watching him work when a mammal walks past the door. I’m thinking, “hey look, yet another cat.” and then I noticed how it was walking and then it’s coloring and I was like “OMG THAT’S NOT A CAT!!!” I mean he was huge! I’ve never seen another mammal around our house besides squirrels, deer, chipmunks and cats. AND! he came walking out from that damn hole under the deck. Suffice to say I was very glad we had closed the door at that point cause that raccoon stopped in front of the door and walked closer like he couldn’t see humans sitting there or something and I’m convinced he would have walked right in had the door been open.

Now we’re in the process of getting the floors completely dusted and mopped while moving all our furniture back in its proper place. I can’t wait til we’re done with that so we can sleep in our bed again. The guest bed is so hard to me! I don’t care what any of the guests that sleep in it say. I’m quite happy though that our house looks less 1950’s with the berber carpet and more in the 21st century. By next week, after birthday shenanigans, I should be back to my regular WordPress self, at least for another couple months.

Hope you all are having a great week and I’ll try to make tomorrow’s post shorter. 😉

Short Post

I’m working from home today and man am I enjoying it. In the past, I’ve never had a job with such flexibility. Saturday afternoon our contractor realized, after ripping up our living room carpet, that we need one more day to finish. Since he’s already worked 6 days in a row we told him to take Sunday off and come back on Monday which required one of us to take a day off. Since my husband took all last week off, I volunteered this time because, well, we can’t afford him to take off any more days. My boss is so cool and understanding that she was just like, “sure, that’s fine”.

It’s still surreal for me because I’ve never had a job where there was a work from home option. Most of the time it would require rearranging a whole week’s schedule or trying to find someone to cover but when you work for a small business it’s so completely different. What’s also really neat is my ability to multitask has grown even more. Even though I’m working from my computer, I’m also scrubbing the bathroom down at the same time. Who considers a chore like that a happy day?!

Maybe my mood is pretty great because the sun is shining and it’s supposed to be 70 degrees today but, it’s definitely a great day. I hope you all are having a good Monday whether you’re at work or at home or anywhere in between.

🙂

Half Priced Books

Yesterday I spoke a bit about spring cleaning and one of those cleanings involved going through my books and sorting out ones I either know I never read or I found something out about an author (coughtheyareracistcough) that made me want to give away all their books that I own. This ended up with me having 2 bags full of books. If you’re new to my blog, I’m not a book blogger but I am an avid reader. I probably have about 400 physical books in my house because I constantly go to library sales when I can or I visit Half Price Books, the latter of which I want to talk to you about today cause this store isn’t everywhere.

The closest one to me is about a 40 minute drive North. I remember when I first realized that there was one in the vicinity of NorthEast Ohio and got super excited to go. Believe me when I say it’s pretty amazing. The concept of the place is every book and even DVD, manga, game, journal, etc that you buy is half the price of what the publisher printed on the book jacket. For hardcovers, that logic sometimes applies and sometimes it’s an even better deal because a hardcover can be $30 and Half Price will sell it for like $9.99. Suffice to say, it’s quite easy to get stuck in this store for hours at a time. They also have a counter set up where they will buy your books from you. The less often they see books come across the desk, the more money you’ll get. For example, I took The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown up there and it got pennies because they see this book all the time so it’s not really worth a lot. But if you bring in a popular book, for example, a book by Ilona Andrews, it’s worth more because I personally have never seen an Ilona Andrews in Half Price Books. She’s just a hot author and the books just don’t stay on the shelves long enough once they’re brought in.

Anyway, here are a couple pictures I took to give you an idea of what this awesome book store looks like inside:

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Pretty awesome right? Great way to feed an addiction at half the cost 😉 . And majority of the books are in great condition!


Do you have a favorite book store by you that you go to that has awesome deals such as this one? How do you feel about book buying addictions? Not necessarily a bad one to have eh? Let me know in the comments below!

Life Shenanigans

Normally I have time to go through WordPress over the weekend and blog hop and comment and what not. This weekend, that was completely not an option in any capacity. You see, that floor project I discussed a few posts ago commences today and because we always like to be ahead of the game, we prepared the room the contractor would be working in ahead of time so he wouldn’t have to; that means, we moved all the furniture out. And when I say “we”, I mean my husband because I’m not allowed to lift more than 25 pounds being 7 months pregnant and all.

Basically our plan of attack was to clean out closets first and do a bit of spring cleaning. We’ve only been living in this house for a little under 2 years and we came from a one bedroom apartment to a three bedroom house so we’ve accumulated a bit of stuff in that time. You never really realize how much stuff you have though until you go through it all for a big house project. We ended up donating 4 trash bags full of clothing and 1 trash bag of shoes between the both of us and on top of that, got rid of 2 bags of books I knew I’d never read, a 29 gallon bowfront fish tank and a cat tree. The cat tree is the only thing that went to the trash. Then I gave away some odds and ends to my mother in law because she was homeless before and now has her own apartment to accumulate stuff in. We were also fortunate that she came over because she was able to help my husband move some of the big stuff while I just took the small stuff upstairs or relocated it to a temporary spot for the time being.

By the time it was all said and done, we had our dining room and bedroom cleared of furniture (except the bed; that will be moved during the project) and our living room full of furniture that needs two people to move. However, the poor pets are in a sad panda state at the moment. My turtle’s tank had to be drained in order for it to be mobile so he’s sitting in about 3 inches of water for the time being and the cats are locked in a room upstairs until the project is finished. Milliardo is most especially not amused:

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I hope to share some before and after pictures with you all at a later date but for now it looks like it’s gonna be a Wendy’s kind of week (not that I’m complaining!). I hope you all had less exhausting weekends than I did.

Have you done any spring cleaning yet? If you have, are you surprised at the amount of stuff you accumulated over the years? Got any big projects coming up? Let me know in the comments below!

Can You Hear Them?

Mixing it up today since my two previous posts were a little heavy. I want to lighthearted today and talk about music. Have you ever listened to a song and was drawn in not only by the main singer but also the backup vocalist(s)? It has recently come to my attention that a song I’ve listened to at least 10 times features a backup singer and I didn’t even realize it til I listened closely! Most songs that have an underlying singer included is usually listed as “Jack ft. Jill” and then you know Jill is in the song. However, there are a few songs that don’t say that even though Jill is still in the background and I wanted to share a couple that I’ve noticed to see if you hear them as well.

First, I want to start by saying, there are a lot of songs that feature the artists themselves as the background harmonics. Basically the recorded the song in three different tones of their own voice and then merged them together to create the song. An example of this is the song Miss You by Beyonce:

If you don’t want to listen to the whole song, skip ahead to 0:52, this is when you start to hear the harmony of her own making.

Now, the next couple songs I share are not the same person doing their own vocals for the song. These feature artists who are credited on album track lists in the tiny print but not credited at the forefront because most people don’t even hear them or they do and just assume its like a choir or, like above, the singer channeling a different note themselves. My first example comes from artist Jessie Ware and her song Say You Love Me:

Again, if you don’t want to listen to the whole thing, skip ahead to 0:40 because that’s when the background vocals kick in. The voice behind those vocals is actually Ed Sheeran. So of course I’ve heard this a million times and didn’t hear it but once you hear it, you can’t unhear it and it actually makes the song even better for me because I’m an Ed Sheeran fan.

Here’s another one by Phil Collins called True Colors:

At 0:40 the background vocals kick in and for all intents and purposes, it sounds like a different vocal range of Phil Collins himself. It’s not til you get further along into the song that you realize, that’s someone else. He’s not listed and he’s not in the music video but the background vocalist for this song is actually Babyface.

In this next one, the background vocalist is quite obviously different from the main singer, Amy Lee. However, I was so drawn in by his vocal harmony that I wanted to know who the singer was. There’s a lot of conflicting answers on the web because it is a member of the group but the question is which one. The song is Anywhere by Evanescence:

Some people say it’s Ben Moody. Other’s say it’s David Hodges. I don’t know but his voice is beautiful. Let me know in the comments if you’ve hears this and know.

Lastly, I wanted to share an acapella video because what better way to hear a variety of vocal tones then to listen to a song with simply voices and no instruments? I’ve heard the studio version of this next song many times and I always thought I had the voices pegged out for each part. However, recently I found out I was wrong and the one who usually beatboxes or has his voice overpowered by the others actually stands out more than I ever imagined until I saw this live performance. The song here is Run to You by Pentatonix (PTX):

For the first 2 and a half minutes, it’s all of them in harmony but once you  hit 2:48, this is where things get interesting. Kevin, who is the last guy on the right, is usually drowned out by the other 4 in mostly all song because again, he normally beatboxes instead of sings but in this one his voice stands out like a siren and it gives me chills because I always thought it was one of the other ones who broke off at that part to sing with Kiersty and he was just background humming or something. Gives me goosebumps, man.


I know this is a lot of videos and if you listen to all of them, you’re pretty fantastic. Have you ever noticed a background vocalist that you thought was just the artist but turned out to be someone else? Share your examples in the comments below and let me know what if you like any of these songs/artists.

Balance

Recently there’s been a lot of talk in my world about jobs and what people sign up for when they take on a job. For example, I heard a story on the radio this morning about special needs teachers and their preparedness for anything that could possibly happen while teaching the students. I won’t get into the super details but the story involved a teacher who I believed grossly overreacted to a situation she encountered with an autistic student. It got me thinking about my own experiences with jobs I’ve had and jobs my friends have had and I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the matter today.

With everything there are positives and there are negatives. I believe the way in which we handle these occurrences head on is what makes us either better or worse individuals. I’m sure anyone would love to live in a world where ignorance is bliss. In fact the entirety of that quote is “ignorance is bliss; knowledge is misery”. It’s usually equated to a child vs. a grown up. As children (hopefully) we live in this blissful world where nothing affects us much except for the next time we get to play our favorite game or go outside or hang out with our cousins. We aren’t thinking about the real world. Then there’s that point in life where you have to deal with those facts because it either creeps up on you too soon or it’s around the corner waiting to creep up on you eventually. We all have to grow up and be adults even if we don’t want to.

The “knowledge is misery” part of the quote quite fascinated me because I happen to think knowledge is an essential part of life. Most people are thirsty for knowledge instead of viewing it as something miserable. For example, I don’t want to know about politics but I still pay attention because I want to be prepared for anything that occurs in this country that may or may not affect me and my loved ones in some way.

Circling back to the bit about jobs, I feel like when you sign up for a particular job, you have to know what to expect going in. For example if you’re an artist of some sort: writer, movie director, music producer, painter, you have to know going in that when you release your art to the world that there are going to be some who absolutely love it and some who absolutely hate it. Now, I am none of those things but I feel like on some level you have to know what to expect and how to handle what gets thrown at you in any form. Obviously you are going to praise the ones who give you glowing reviews but should you ignore the ones who don’t or worse, call them all trolls or put them down? I don’t think that’s right. If anything, you’d learn from every bit of feedback or critique you receive so that you have a better direction going forward; learn how to to turn a negative into something that can strengthen you and your fan base so that you don’t lose anyone, including the negative Nancies because there is always that possibility that they’ll still support you and even like future works even if this one flopped for them.

Another example, and this is personal experience, is being a manager. Being promoted is a great feeling but with it comes great responsibility and one of those things is the ability to handle a rude customer. First you have have to acknowledge that it’s not a personal attack at you. The person may be having a shitty day. Such is life. Then you have to strive to fulfill their needs as best you can without making it worse than it already is. Now are there some customers who are just rude out the gate? Absolutely. Even so, there are methods in which you can handle the situation that could potentially open their eyes to their own behavior and get them to calm down. Is this a perfect be all end all method? Of course not. But it’s definitely a step in the right direction, I’d say.

One last example is having that tough conversation with an employee who is just not doing what they are supposed to do. I don’t want them to think I’m personally attacking them because they are not doing a great job lately but I also want to make it clear that it’s not going to be tolerated either. Sitting them down one on one and going through what I see and trying to get to the root of what’s going on so that we can figure out how best to proceed going forward is usually the best route. Again, is it foolproof? Absolutely not and sometimes it ends more badly than you wanted it to but sometimes that’s just the right route.

I think life is all about balance. You need to make mistakes and fail to become a better, well rounded person. Sometimes our emotions dictate our actions before we fully comprehended what happened later but if you have the ability to acknowledge that and correct it either in the now or in the future, I think that makes a good recipe for greatness.

What do you think about balancing positives with negatives in life? Do you agree about jobs and what to expect when you take a specific job on? Any examples you want to share? Let me know in the comments below!

Own It

I was talking to my amazing, magnificent friend over the weekend as we usually do and we got on the subject of honesty. We discussed it in the form of book reviews but, like I usually do, I went off on a slight tangent about this particular subject and one of the first lessons I plan to teach my child in the future.

When you achieve something great or are rewarded for a job well done, how do you normally feel? You feel amazing; on top of the world. Then you want to tell everyone you know so they can feel wonderful with you. You are owning your greatness in that moment. You earned it, it was well deserved and you want to flaunt it. That’s a natural reaction to a positive experience right?

So why is it that when a person does something wrong, instead of owning their mistake, they blame everything else under the sun? Or, even worse, flip the tables to make it seem like the other party was delusional in their assessment of the situation because there is just no way you could be wrong even though you KNOW (because trust me, you know) that you were part of the wrong or even fully responsible for it?

Speaking from experience, I understand how easily it is to tell a little white lie when you don’t want to feel the wrath of another person. I truly get it, I do. But I learned over time that that literally makes things 1000 times worse because something so small that I could have owned up to in the beginning ends up getting blown out of proportion and multiple parties end up hurt. Then instead of just one person you have to apologize to, there are many and from there, people’s trust meter of you has faltered a bit.

Losing someone’s trust or even confidence in your own ability to take and receive information is one of the worst feelings. I personally own up to everything I say. If someone asks me for an honest opinion about something, they better be prepared to hear an honest answer. I’m not one for sugarcoating especially when I made the mistake. It’s quite easy to say “That was totally my fault, I’m sorry” or “My bad, I messed up or misinterpreted what you said” to avoid a total explosion of unnecessary drama. Now if I didn’t do it or say it, I definitely won’t take the blame.

When I worked as a manager in retail, this concept was something I pretty much drilled into my staff. If you messed up, seriously, it’s okay. Just tell me so we can fix it together and then you’ll know how better to handle the situation the next time. If you lie to me, I will find out so let’s not waste time. Now, is there times when things should be tactfully said? Sure. But that is one reason why I always lead in with something like “I mean no disrespect but…” and then lay it all out. That way the receiver is already prepared for what I’m about to drop on them but I also hope it makes them feel comfortable enough to do the same for me in return because who doesn’t want 100% honesty all the time?

At the end of the day, I know I can’t make people change. Some people are so good at lying or being two faced that that is their natural instinct. It just sucks for the rest of us who have to figure that out further along in a friendship or relationship instead of right up front. The world would truly be a better place if people owned up to all of their judgments instead of just some of them and not only that, be able to take information, even if it’s information they don’t like, gracefully. That’s the very definition of being an adult wouldn’t you say?

I’m quite interested in what you all think on this topic. Let me know in the comments below and feel free to share experiences of your own if you feel comfortable. 🙂