Reactionary Tales

Everybody Poops

Does the daily post have a random word generator? Farce is another word I do not use on a regular basis. I googled synonyms because that’s how I find words that I actually do use on a regular basis and came up with absurd, joke, satire, etc. So I decided to talk about this book:

This is a real thing. I assure you. I found the 18th and 19th edition! That just tells you how popular these books must be. Here’s the synopsis on the back of the book, word for word:

Uncle John’s Fast-Acting Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader will cure chronic boredom, calm the hungry mind and relieve your aching funny bone as you absorb these fun and fascinating pages. As always, the contents are divided by length: Quickies, for the reader on the go, Medium for a regular stay, Long if you’re staying a little longer, and an Extended-Sitting Section for those leg-numbing visits

To add to that, the words are curved on the back of the book to simulate the roundness of a toilet! Genius.

Back to what I was saying, everybody poops. If you don’t, you have a problem and should see a doctor immediately. One of the stories I found when flipping through this book (I may or may not have been on the toilet at the time) was toilet paper story number 21. It’s called “They Are What You Eat” with the tagline “You eat these products and drink a few of them too. But how much do you know about the people they are named for?” I was drawn to the story about Earl Grey. Even if you’re not a tea drinker, you have to have heard of Earl Grey or seen it at your favorite coffee shop or in the grocery. Here’s a bit of a history lesson for you.

Earl Grey was actually a title. His real name was Charles Grey and he was the second prime minister, they called them Earl Grey, of Great Britain and he ended slavery throughout the British Empire. The tea got dubbed Earl Grey because a British envoy saved an important Chinese government official who was so grateful he sent this wonderful gift of black tea flavored by bergamot oil. Bergamot is a citrus fruit if you were wondering. I had to google it because it doesn’t sound like a citrus fruit to me at all. Anyway, here’s the kicker. When Grey’s tea supply became low, he’d asked his tea merchant, Twinings, to make more. It became so popular with the people of town that they would go to Twinings and ask for “Earl Grey’s” tea.

What a cool story right??Β TheΒ more you know.

As an extra laugh, I showed my co-worker this book and she told me she keeps a toilet log in her bathroom so when she has gatherings and people go to poop, they can write things in the toilet log for others to read and add to when they find themselves having an “extended stay”.

That’s one of the best ideas ever!Β What do you think?

Nel

Happily married, bookaholic, Netflix-a-holic sharing random experiences and interpretations of my world which is brutally honest most of the time.

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21 thoughts on “Everybody Poops

  1. cwhiteweb

    I saw “Reactionary Tales” and the title, and I said, this must be Nel lol … Real catchy!!
    A toilet log!! A magnificent idea!! Definitely going to implement it at home (if and when I return)
    Interesting story, Twinings and Earl Grey, I would never have guessed!!

    1. Nel Post author

      Hahaha! I’m going to have to start being boring every once in a while. I’m getting predictable! πŸ˜› You need to scroll back a little more and read my second spider adventure. I thought of you while writing it! I never would have guessed that about Earl Grey either. I just thought it was named after a random guy.

      1. cwhiteweb

        A random OLD guy, agreed!!
        You had a second happening with a spider?? What’s that one called? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        And don’t worry. Predictable can be good, very good, keeps us reading and entertained πŸ˜€

    1. Nel Post author

      Hahaha. Maybe I’ll be dull someday. If you’re pooping rainbows, you might just be a unicorn πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  2. Lisa Ralph

    My prompts are not linking to Daily Post. Yours do so you must know how to do it. Not one of mine have πŸ˜•. All this and notta. Any guidance. Total computer illiterate. Thanks. ✌Lisa

    1. Nel Post author

      Sure thing. When you’re writing your post, on the toolbar there’s two little icons. They both look like diagonal paper clips but one has a little explosion going through the middle of it. What you want to do is highlight the word you want to link to the daily prompt and then click the closed paper clip. A little box will pop up for you to insert the URL into it which you can get by going to the page directly and copying the link. Afterwards I usually like to check to make sure my post showed up by going to the page. It’ll appear as a little box and say “Site Title – Post Name” in a list with everyone elses. If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask πŸ™‚

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