Love Angles

The infamous love triangle! I have a love/hate relationships with love angles in any form.

Oh! I should probably outline the love triangle eh? Sorry about that. Let’s start over.

To the right is a pretty neat, cloth depiction of a love triangle. A love triangle occurs when there is a relationship between on individual and another but then feelings “shift” to a third individual and it sort of becomes a tug of war of sorts with the spotlight on the middle person who usually has a hard time picking between the two. It is mostly portrayed in media as a woman who has split feelings or loves two men but can’t pick just one to be with. Sometimes it’s portrayed with two women over a man. It should be noted that this is my interpretation because complicated things come in threes right?

Back to what I said in the beginning, I have a love/hate relationship with love angles. They can be triangles, squares, or even pentagons. If it it’s a book, I absolutely hate reading about them. The reason I hate them so much is because usually they aren’t written very well in my opinion. For example, you have girl who falls for guy. She professes her undying love for said guy and how he makes her so happy, etc etc. Then she meets guys brother and things begin to shift. Brother is able to see parts of her that she never saw before and understands her a little bit more than guy. But she loves guy and never wants to hurt him even though her attraction meter is all of sudden pointing to brother. Now we get into how people have the capacity to love more than one person and that they each individual has a trait that speaks to your soul, blah blah blah.

Stop. Cop out okay.

Now, when it comes to television shows, I am the complete and utter opposite. Give me ALL the love angles. Let’s take a show I’m watching currently shall we? (Sort of spoiler alert maybe. I’m discussing events of Grey’s Anatomy that may not have happened for you yet but if you’re behind, these aren’t big deals to the overall drama that is Grey’s Anatomy so I’m sort of sorry.)  In Grey’s Anatomy, Meredith finally decided she actually, kind of, really liked Dr. Riggs and wanted to explore a legitimate relationship with him. They’re having a great time doing relationship things when word comes in that Owen’s sister, who was engaged to Dr. Riggs, is actually alive and is coming to the hospital. Now all of sudden Dr. Riggs is all about Megan and Meredith has been pushed to the sidelines. For a few episodes you see this struggle cause Dr. Riggs has grown strong feelings for Meredith but the love of his life is actually alive and he kept help but want to rekindle what they lost years before. Meredith was upset at first but, for now anyway, she’s decided that if she was in Riggs’ shoes, she’d do the same thing. So Meredith is trying to push Riggs and Megan together while Megan is trying to push Meredith and Riggs together cause she doesn’t believe Riggs’ can love her true now. It’s so complicated but I love it!

Something similar to the above scenario took place in a book series I was trying out. I was about three books in when this situation went down. I was ready to be okay with the main going with the rebound because death occurred but then the dead person was somehow magically not dead and the main, who had literally moved on, dropped the character she was with like a hot potato and went running back to dead person who’s not dead. I was so pissed I didn’t even finish the book and I quit the series. What is it about reading vs. watching?? My theory is maybe because while watching, I’m being set up for it pretty good that when it happens, I’m not entirely surprised and can roll over this bit of speed bump but when it happens in a book, it’s like the light turning red at that last second and I have to slam on my brakes while screaming profanities at inanimate objects!

Another, simpler example is from the television show Scandal. You have Olivia Pope who bounces between Fitz and Jake. I’ve always been team Jake but I admit to switching to team Fitz sometimes. However, the bouncing around has gotten to the point where now I just hate Olivia and her actions more than the men. In all scenarios, I understand the goal is to increase the drama factor but it almost becomes unbearable at times because the solution is very clear for me! It’s not that I’m condemning polygamy, especially if it’s an open relationship, but most of the time, someone or many someones end up getting hurt when it comes to a love angle. I also get that making people hurt is also appealing to a person’s emotions and that it possibly leads to more in depth, intense emotions that will keep you coming back. Yes, I’m still watching Scandal cause I have nothing to lose at this point as it’s the final season but had it not been, would the show frustrate me to the point of giving up on it?

So I pose this question to you dear readers. How do you feel about love angles in books, TV or movies? Have you ever actually found yourself hating the individual it’s all revolving around more than the individuals on either side? If you actually like love shapes, what are your favorites and do you feel they were executed well? Let me know in the comments below!

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Nel

Happily married, bookaholic, Netflix-a-holic sharing random experiences and interpretations of my world which is brutally honest most of the time.

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17 thoughts on “Love Angles

  1. Oh…..well

    …..tough one.

    I agree that books cringe it up and make it very housewife fantasy porn.
    TV shows get it a bit. Always team Jake, BTW! My god, who isn’t? ??
    Real life…impossible, difficult, indefinable. ..
    Which is why maybe we enjoy them so much in fiction, whether we love or hate the execution of the details, right?
    I think. ..you don’t know who you are sometimes until someone has loved parts of you that others callously ignored. ..I think if any medium of fiction captures that addictive emotion, they’ve nailed (pardon the pun) it

    • Wow. That’s such a good response! (Sorry I’m just now seeing this, rescued you from spam). It is indeed and addictive emotion when a person loves parts of you that someone else ignored. I never even looked at it that way. I am so happy you are team Jake! A friend of mine is forever Team Fitz and I’m like whyyyyy! Fitz can’t give Olivia the sun okay!! 🙂

  2. It’s never really bothered me, but, in Twilight, I didn’t think it was very cheesy when reading the series. When watching the movies, it was cheesy, but tolerable. Lol. Weird! It’s such a common trope though. When it comes to a marriage, I just want to shut it off though. My problem is the cheating. I remember watching “Unfaithful” with Diane Lane and Richard Gere. That was hard to watch. But it’s just a movie! Lol. A good one too. 😮

    I still need to watch Scandal. You have me interested. So behind. 😊

    • I agree. I think that’s why I have such trouble with love triangles. Individuals end up cheating either emotionally or physically and then I’m completely over the love triangle trope, haha.
      I’ve seen that movie and it was a hard watch but it was so good!
      Haha, it’s on Netflix except the season airing currently. It’s the last one though so hopefully things go the way I want them to, hahahaha.

  3. It’s great you see the difference in TV versus books. I tend to agree. With books, you know it almost ends… or there may not be a sequel. With TV shows, there’s enough advanced warning to wrap up a plot / romance. Maybe that has part of the cause in it! 🙂

    • Exactly James! Advanced warning is key but in a book I want surprise because then it would lose its appeal by being predictable. But then I still get upset so in a way is that a surprise? Or am I really upset because what I wanted to happen, didn’t? It’s curious.

  4. I agree that I don’t like reading or watching any love triangle where a married person cheats on a perfectly nice/wonderful spouse, even if the 3rd person is appealing in some ways, too.

    I think many of the love triangles I’ve read or watched clearly portrayed the “3rd” as the less desirable one. Only on occasion is the spouse so bad that the 3rd is the more desirable. Then in those cases it’s wonderful to see the 3rd person rescue the love from his/her horrible spouse.

    I happen to have a very huge crush on another man in my life. It’s calmed quite a bit over the last year, but in my case I had a different type of love for that man than I have for my husband. In an ideal world I’d have two lives where I could spend one with my husband, and the other with the other man. I wouldn’t want to leave my husband for the other man, and I’d feel guilty cheating on my husband with him. In reality, the “other man” has an affection for me, but it’s not as intense as mine. It’s not as intense as my husband’s love for me. There is also a bit of a taboo in having such a 3rd man and I ever fully get together in my current life. I guess that helps curb the temptation to a degree.

    • You’re right Cindy. The third person is usually less desirable for one trait or another. Is that done on purpose to prepare us to expect the unexpected?
      I understand two different types of love and, in your case, a perfect world would maybe be an open relationship even though its frowned upon by some. Your feelings are very real though and you understand what’s right and what’s wrong so I think, overall, that’s a good thing.

      • I think they do make the third person less desirable in certain cases. Someone’s example of “Unfaithful” was a good one. Even though the French guy was kind of hot, Richard Gere (the husband) was hot, albeit older, and clearly a man truly in love with his wife (Diane Lane).

        I have seen some movies where I routed for the 3rd man. Thing Bridgette Jone’s diary (the first movie). I clearly preferred Colin Firth over Hugh Grant, despite Colin Firth’s stiffness. We all just knew that Colin Firth was the kind you’d want to marry. Ditto for Pride & Predjudice, which the Bridget Jone’s series was based on loosely.

    • You know I love a good harem in a book too. Case in point, Anita Blake that we were just talking about. Must be something about that magic 3 number 😉

  5. hehe first off I love that heart and triangle image! And I’m so excited to read your post on this subject!! Arghhh yes I hate it in books- cos so often it’s a cop out. And to be honest not a fan in shows that much, in theory, but I can’t actually remember complaining about that… Maybe it’s cos I can see it happening so it has to make more sense? I get what you mean about seeing the build up so it makes more sense in a tv show. Yeah I definitely agree that most of the time people get hurt in these and so often it seems to condone some weird kind of cheating and I can’t stand that. Like you said, it’s not like they have an open relationship!! Sometimes, very rarely, there’s a reason for a love triangle in a book that makes sense, but then it quickly devolves into people hurting each other and I can’t stand it. Great discussion!!

    • Thanks! I was looking for love triangle pics and thought that one was so cool and perfect. Hahaha yes, same. When I actually thought about it, I realized I tolerated it and sometimes even liked them in shows but I can’t stand reading about them. Right. Yes! Weird kind of cheating when it’s not stated that it’s not an open ship or at least mutually exclusive. Yes! Right! It’s so rare!

  6. I feel you’re so right Nel that love triangles are hard to write well. It has to be a situation to my mind where a girl should legitimately be pulled two ways. Dumplin is a good example of a well written LT. Frankly that is difficult to write well in a book where we spend most of our time in a character’s head…it starts to feel redundant in book form when we go back Nd forth between the same feelings… While in a TV show it’s all external and has individual moments associated with the swing back and forth. Anyway you can tell I’ve thought about this WAY too much, hahhhaha! ♥️ Such a great post, Nel!

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