Reactionary Tales

Mumblings

I’m drawing a blank today. Probably because it rained all night and I’m a light sleeper so I didn’t, actually, fully sleep. It was one of those hovering between awake and asleep situations. Are you a light sleeper or a deep sleeper? My husband sleeps like the dead. I’m jealous.

You know what’s a wonderful feature? The snooze button. I hit it at least 2 to 3 times every morning. It’s probably bad to do so cause it screws up your sleep routine or something like that but it makes me feel like I’m stealing an extra few minutes of sleep.

Because of my sporadic sleep, I got to thinking of what I was going to write for the blog today and all I can think about is friendships; friendships in the materialistic sense. It sounds weird, I know but I got to thinking about all the friends I have and why they’re friends with me; the qualities about me that they like.

Hands down I have four people I know I can 100% look to for support no matter my situation. Four people who don’t judge me in any way and if they do they’re honest about it to my face. Depending on where you live, you know about all the hatred going on in the world which is unfortunately race based, especially in America. So to find people who don’t care or think about that stuff is such a wonderful quality to have. I also look to those who don’t judge the way I live my life. For example, we don’t live extravagantly. We haven’t really ever. We prefer to live frugally. We don’t live in a large house and don’t drive fancy cars. It’s a little ingrained for me to not invite people over to my place because I had an ex-friend come over once, when we lived in a tiny apartment, and look down her nose at the place. Like literally walked over my doorstep and did that.

I don’t quite understand people sometimes. Why is life a competition? I have no desire to be rich and if I ever was, I’d probably still live the same way I do now (with the added addition of Belle’s library of course). I value time more than wealth. I value an individual more than what they have that I don’t. Why would I willingly choose to live in a house well outside my means? I don’t want to be house poor. Or maybe there’s an underlying feeling here that I’m missing? Are friendships only about worth?

Random thoughts I had this morning. Probably because I’m thinking about all the friends I made on here. I’m the type of person that likes to make a forever friendship. Distance means nothing to me. I have a friend I met back in my Final Fantasy XI days who I’ve never met in person and we’ve been friends for 8 years. Are friendships really what you, yourself, make them or is it a collaborative effort between both parties involved? How much effort do you exert before it’s just not worth it? Why do I feel like the guilty one for breaking off a friendship when I did all the work?

For the record, nothing new has happened lately. I didn’t lose any friends recently or anything of that nature. Just thinking.

Nel

Happily married, bookaholic, Netflix-a-holic sharing random experiences and interpretations of my world which is brutally honest most of the time.

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39 thoughts on “Mumblings

    1. Nel Post author

      Thanks, Susan! πŸ™‚ I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees the competitive natures of people and get confused.

  1. James J. Cudney IV

    It’s because you are genuine and authentic in all that you do. Not everyone is like that. Just had this conversation with someone else yesterday. It’s a rarity these days in people. Be proud of it. I’m glad to know you and if I didn’t think you were, I wouldn’t spend so much time chatting with you… surrounding yourself with those type of people is important. I’m happy you have those 4 to watch your back.

    1. Nel Post author

      Thanks James. I mean I wasn’t always that way (we were all teenagers once) but as an adult it’s like, friends are so hard to come by. I don’t understand why people maybe initially embrace you and then later on something flips but instead of telling you they just continue to pretend in order to use you because they know you care.
      I’m grateful to have met you. You are definitely one of my forever friends πŸ˜€

      1. James J. Cudney IV

        Excellent. I’m hoping for the forever part too.

        Perhaps it’s fickle… as you said, they needed something at that point in time, you fit the mold. And rather than approach it fairly, they are selfish.

  2. Sherron0

    Friendship is a collaborative effort. It’s what you both make of it. If the friendship isn’t equal give and take it’s friendship. By that I don’t mean that one should be giving $hit and the other taking it.

    1. Nel Post author

      I agree. Sometimes IT is disguised as something else and it takes a bit to see it. Guess that’s where the phrase “true colors” came from?

    1. Nel Post author

      Thanks for reading. The things that pop up in your head when you don’t get adequate sleep, lol

  3. updownflight

    You have always struck me as an extremely down to earth kind of gal. I like that, and that is the reason whey I enjoy our comment correspondence. I feel comfortable when we chat. I’m so glad I’ve found you and your blog here, Nel.

    I am a deep sleeper up until 3 am when I wake up for about 20 mins. I usually have to go to the “ladies” room and sometimes eat a yogurt to get back to sleep. Then I sleep deeply until the alarm goes off. Like you, I press it at least 2 or 3 times before finally dragging my butt out of bed.

    1. Nel Post author

      Thanks. I am mostly down to Earth. I can have a grumpy side though, I’ll admit, haha. I enjoy our comment correspondence as well! I’m glad I make you feel comfortable. I definitely value our friendship πŸ™‚
      Haha, I’m glad I’m not the only one who snoozes until you absolutely can’t!

    1. Nel Post author

      Maybe it’s a man thing?? I usually read until my eyes are burning from trying to keep them open.

  4. Dani @ Perspective of a Writer

    We live really frugally as well and are also standoffish about having people over because I’ve had really good friends sneer at my apartment and refuse point blank to come in… it’s really puzzling to me because we live really simply, no clutter, no dirt, everything in its place, so why the disgust? I also struggle to sleep! We have so much in common! Lol… I’m glad you have 4 friends who love you unconditionally- we all need that! ❀️

    1. Nel Post author

      Wow. Refuse to come in?! That definitely doesn’t make sense in any capacity. I hope you dumped those “friends”.
      Yes, I usually read until my eyes are bleeding to get me to sleep but I’m pretty positive that doesn’t always help because even though my eyes are close my brain is still going, haha. Thank you, yes. I am very grateful for them especially since one of them married me so he doesn’t have much choice!

  5. Colin - Scottish Legend

    The Competition thing is annoying but most people do it even if they don’t realise they are doing it. I’ve done it myself in my life.
    For most it’s an ego thing where they have to prove that they are “superior” to everyone else.
    Life and the world would better without it but it’s there unfortunately.
    I get what you are saying about friends I can count on one hand the number of friends I love completely and trust with my life.
    Three of them I have never met in person but they are the best people I know and I trust them completely with my life 100% even if I haven’t spoken to one of them for a long time for reasons too complicated to go into here.
    I love her with all my hear and I named my daughter for her she’s my best friend and always will be even if we don’t talk anymore

    1. Nel Post author

      Yes. I hear you. Sometimes you crave more friends whether they’re in person or not but you want to be able to count on them and for them to feel the same way about you. I’m sorry whatever circumstances happened for you to not be in contact with the woman you named your daughter after. I hope maybe someday she changes her mind and reaches out to you again. Forgiveness is the best part about a friendship even if it’s to forgive and go forward.

      1. Colin - Scottish Legend

        Yeah i completely agree with that thought.

        We didn’t fall out. There is nothing to be forgiven. Basically she started seeing someone who was uncomfortable with how close we were so I stepped aside so she could be happy I couldn’t be the reason she was unhappy.
        There is more to it than that but that’s the crux of it.
        I would love to have her back in my life but I can’t see it happening

        1. Nel Post author

          Oh darn. That is definitely tough. I’ve experienced something similar before but not as deeply as you. I hope you have someone in your life now that is slightly on her level. And maybe deep down she knows if she were to ever reach out, you’d be there for her 😊

          1. Colin - Scottish Legend

            Oh she knows if she reaches out ill be there the last time we spoke I told her no matter if it’s 10 days, 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years I will always be there no matter what.
            I have two people in my life now that almost, combined, at the same level as her but it’s not the same. Thing is I check up on her every now and then (Facebook) and I know she’s happy that’s all that matters.
            Also one of the friends I have now I gave my daughter her middle name after my friends daughter, although I don’t think she twigged on that one.

            I replied to another comment in this post with a quote that applies and helped me get over losing her here it is

            ” Your comment really speaks to me. I know exactly what you mean about friends coming and going.
            I lost a good friend a before someone I loved immensely and this quote got me through it.
            I have a feeling it will resonate with you as well.

            “One mystery I cannot figure out is why some people come into our lives and why some people go. Others become a part of you. Some friendships feel like they’ll last forever and others end far too soon. Not every friendship is meant to last forever. What does last forever is the pain when that person is gone.”

  6. Kristin

    Some friends come into our lives for a short while and some for a lifetime. And some may break and then come back together at another point in time. I think the lifetime friends are quite rare.

    1. Nel Post author

      I agree. They definitely are. I admit I’m definitely jealous of those ppl who were “friends from birth” but I’m super happy for them and strive to have that with my friends as long as possible. 😊

      1. Kristin

        I never really had friends at all until I was an adult and most of my friends now I met online. Some I have met in person and others I’ve yet to physically meet.

        I talk to one of my besties EVERY day on the phone and we have never met physically. We’ve been friends for 11 years now.

        My other bestie and I met about six months after meeting online. We live an hour apart so we don’t get to see each other often but we talk online daily. We are going on 4-5.

        Online is almost a better way to get friends that stand the test of time IMHO.

        1. Nel Post author

          Yes, it definitely seems like it. I met my husband online and we didn’t meet for at least 3 years after that initial contact. My best friend going on ten years, I didn’t meet her physically until like year 5 and now we see each other once or twice a year. Then there is my friend I mentioned above. I definitely have a huge appreciation for technology!

    2. Colin - Scottish Legend

      Your comment really speaks to me. I know exactly what you mean about friends coming and going.
      I lost a good friend a before someone I loved immensely and this quote got me through it.
      I have a feeling it will resonate with you as well.

      “One mystery I cannot figure out is why some people come into our lives and why some people go. Others become a part of you. Some friendships feel like they’ll last forever and others end far too soon. Not every friendship is meant to last forever. What does last forever is the pain when that person is gone.”

      1. Nel Post author

        That is the truth. I broke off a friendship last year that I thought from the beginning would be forever but it wasn’t. For a while I obsessed about what went wrong and then obsession turned into resentment and I started really disliking her. Now, I look back on it as a huge learning experience and know what to and not to do the next go around.

  7. therobinsnest2017

    Come on over girl! You will have to overlook the dog hair sweep/vacuum almost every day! We definitely live in our house!! If you feel uncomfortable … Your loss. We love to laugh, have a good time, eat good food while enjoying good company.

    1. Nel Post author

      YES PLEASE!!!! β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️ I know all about pet hair. My cats shed like there’s no tomorrow. I like what you said. You “live” in your house. That’s the way it should be!

  8. mainepaperpusher

    Oh my goodness, didn’t I laugh/cry when I read about the people so stupidly looking down on your place. I was reminded of the first time we had people here at our house about 30 years ago. I wanted everything to be just perfect. It wasn’t. It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did to my mother in law and sister in law. That was the last time they were invited here. It gave me a phobia about having people over. Now I have big scary dogs. Problem solved! Robin has the right idea. A house that’s lived in is a house well-loved. If anyone has a problem with that, I’ll just let the dogs out. πŸ˜‰

    1. Nel Post author

      Hahahaha okay that made me laugh because I imagined you saying let the dogs out with your Baha Men voice (cause of course you have one in my head). There may have been a little Linda jig in this scene as well πŸ˜‚
      That’s crazy that your own family would do that but I guess water is thicker than blood sometimes. Party at Robin’s house!!!!

      1. mainepaperpusher

        I can do a pretty mean Baha Men and there would definitely be dancing! You bet we’ll have a party at Robin’s house! We’ll be wearing our own pet hair. It’s a fashion accessory you know!

  9. theorangutanlibrarian

    Ah yes I don’t get why life has to be a competition either!! I’ve never understood people like that! And I can totally relate to the long distance friendships- a lot of my friends are quite a distance away from me, but that doesn’t change anything- we still chat regularly and it doesn’t matter in the long run cos we’re still friends.

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