Meet Viktor.

Hello everyone.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve written a post. According to WordPress, last time I wrote anything was June 8th. As you can probably guess, I haven’t gotten back into the swing of writing because I’m quite sleep deprived.

That’s right. I am no longer pregnant. My baby boy has made an appearance into this world. So yeah if you guessed boy, congratulations! You were right and I got what I wanted. 😊

Anyway, I decided to do a post update because despite the sleep deprivation, I know a few of you have been wondering what’s been going on in my world. Kudos to the ones that have reached out! We appreciate it. 💜

So basically my entire office except for me went on vacation in Austria starting June 13th and we’re to be gone until June 30th. This means I was running my job essentially on my own with explicit instructions not to have the baby early. Cause you know that’s something I could control. 😅

Viktor was originally due July 8th. He had other plans. He decided he wanted to be born early. I was 38 weeks and 1 day on June 25th when he decided that was close enough and my water broke. It’s not how it is in the movies btw but it’s pretty close.

I was actually working that morning and started getting pain. My pain tolerance is decently high so I thought it was just Braxton Hicks and not the real deal and kept working. Other things occurred however that caused me to call the doctor and get more insight which lead to them saying I should probably go to the hospital. I grabbed my husband, told him to call off his afternoon job cause we had to go to the hospital.

It was around noon when we got there and at that point I was in a good amount of pain. I walked all the way to check in though which involved walking through a parking garage, up an elevator, and across an enclosed bridge like a slow champion. Contractions are killer let me tell you. At triage they determined that I was 4.8 cm so baby was coming that day.

I wanted to be superwoman and go natural with no epidural but by 4pm and 5.5cm I practically begged for drugs. When they’re so close together that you can’t even take a small breather, it’s too much. I had a mild reaction to the epidural though. It wouldn’t 100% work on the right side so I could still feel contractions occasionally and I ended up getting a 101 fever though if you asked me I was freezing.

By 7pm, I was 10 cm and by 8pm we were doing practice pushes. My husband was 100% engaged and so excited. He wished he had 7 hands so he could record and participate at the same time but chose to participate the whole time instead of record (thank God). By 8:30pm-ish I was pushing for real and by 9:01pm, little Viktor was in the world.

Apparently this is unprecedented for a first time birthing a human. It was supposed to take at least 20 hours or more. I kept being told I was “made” to have babies. But hey hey! Slow down. Let’s get through one first ppl.

So yeah, June 25th my 7 lb, 3 oz son came into the world and he’s beautiful. He’s a month old today. I never thought I’d like babies and honestly, never wanted them but I love my baby even though I never sleep currently. He’s way too adorable for his own good.

I just wanted to share this story and some pictures of him. I hope you all are doing quite well in your own lives and I miss you. Hopefully by month two we’ll be on some kind of schedule that involves me sleeping more and I can get back into slowly blogging again.

Facebook Friday: Hiatus Edition

Hello world! Isn’t that how the first posts start on here when you create a new blog? Anyway, I finally have about 5 minutes to breathe and decided to update you all on my insanity of a life. As you can still, I’m still kicking for the most part. As I mentioned in previous posts, my job has basically taken over my life. I’ve been upgraded to number two, second to none, personal assistant almost and anything else you can think of. I’ve basically gotten a crash course in what my boss does every day and my days just fly by. By the time I get home, all I want to to do is pee, eat, read something if I can, and sleep.

Besides taking over her job (on top of mine), I’ve had baby stuff galore. Last Saturday was our baby shower. It was pretty great and we got tons of gifts which makes me so grateful for just people in general. We still have things to buy and send thank you cards and oh, I kind of need to pack a hospital bag as well because we’re in the last 4 weeks and need to be prepared. In between all of that, I’ve had constant appointments from chiropractor to dentist to OB and my life is just a whirlwind.

I do want to apologize that I have just barely looked at WordPress in the last week. One day I’ll go back and catch up on all your posts. Please don’t hate me! I miss reading and commenting and being present but please don’t give up on ReactionaryTales! I’ll be back regularly eventually. Because of this, I wanted to extend an invitation to you all if you would like to be my friend outside of WordPress, just let me know. I will message you the details of my personal Facebook and Twitter pages so you can keep up with my life and the other random stuff I post if you’d like. I know some of you already are my friends but for anyone else, just let me know! I’m happy to be your friend outside of this world too!

Facebook was pretty much my only social avenue the last week. Here’s what I shared:

Not only am I digging the song, but the women celebs he got to cameo in the video are just so cool! Give it a watch and listen.

I also shared this video today which just made me go woah! Definitely watch this one if you don’t watch the one above. You’ll be like “NO WAY!”:


Lastly I shared a couple pictures from the shower and another one from the grocery store! The first picture is me and one of my best friends Scott. He kept me sane in front of all the demanding “photographers”. The second picture is a pigeon that made a nest on some carts at my local grocery store that I snapped yesterday. The staff were nice enough to put a sign saying not to disturb the carts near the pigeon. Birds will make a nest anywhere!

And that’s it! I hope all of you are doing well! I miss you and I promise to try and catch up the minute I get a free day. Keep being awesome, and read some pages in your books for me! 🙂

“Please, Thank You, I’m Sorry”

Recently I was talking with my coworker because she was feeling down and out about how she goes above and beyond for people and hardly ever receive a simple thank you or even credit for the hard work she’s put in. It mostly stemmed from the fact that, as I mentioned in a previous post, my boss was in a car accident and has needed a ton of help these days. As much as we are willing to do whatever she needs for us to do to make her life easier, it hasn’t escaped our notice that we aren’t acknowledged for a job well done or for going above and beyond our pay grade to make sure her life is easier. Instead, it has become more demanding.

When I was younger, the first words that got drilled into my head were “please, thank you, and I’m sorry”. Whenever you want or need something, it should always start or end with please. “I need a favor. Do you think you can help me please?”, “When you get a chance, can you please….” are just a few examples. Automatically following the response you receive, even if it’s negative, should be a thank you. “Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” “That’s okay. Thanks anyway.” When people don’t use either of these it comes out more of a demand instead of a polite question. In the case of asking for a favor, if you ask for a favor and this favor is granted, you should give credit where credit is due. Say you couldn’t figure out how to formulate an Excel sheet at work and you got help for it before presenting it to your boss. Just thanking your coworker is not enough. You should let your boss know that you at least had help and couldn’t have perfected the worksheet without so and so’s help.

Lastly, the universal, “I’m sorry“. It’s not only used in sad situations. Loss and grieving people appreciate hearing “I’m so sorry for your loss.” However, and I’ve had to do this, I pitched an idea that was not my own to my boss once and I gave the credit to my coworker because it wasn’t my idea. Only problem was, she wanted to pitch it herself and didn’t appreciate that I offered it up before she could even though I did give the correct credit. I apologized for that and remembered that for the future. Another example is when someone thinks they’re 100% right and makes it a point to almost rub it in your face. When it’s all said and done and it comes out that they were wrong, the first thing out of their mouth should be “I’m sorry” but most often it’s still a case of someone trying to prove in some form that they were still right even if it wasn’t 100%.

Simple accolades such as these would honestly make for a nicer world. Yet, these phrases are so foreign to some that it’s just so sad. This has been on my mind for a while and I just continually think of how more and more individuals are becoming immune to the fact that they aren’t receiving the accolades they deserve even if it’s something as simple as leaving a book review or sharing someone else’s post. I know I’m guilty of it because I’m terrible at Twitter but I try to acknowledge when I notice even if it’s late. I also make it a point to respond to all comments left on my blog or ones that were responded to that I left on someone else’s blog. I just hope this immunity doesn’t continue because it just makes us all much more cold as human beings and we don’t want to turn into emotionless robots now do we?

What do you think about accolades given or received? Were these phrases taught and ingrained into at a young age like they were for me? Do you have any experiences similar to mine you’d like to share? Let me know in the comments below!

I’m Alive.. Sort of

Hello friends,

As you can see so far this week, I’ve been a slacker. I figured today is a good day to throw an update out there so you all know I’m mostly alive and kicking but my life sucks right now.

So firstly, work has been a shit show, literally. Unfortunately, my boss and her husband were in a car accident last Saturday. He walked away with a few scratches and bruises and she was lifted away with a severely broken leg. So for the last week and a half I’ve been doing not only my job but hers too and for someone who’s in a hospital bed, she’s very demanding. And her husband is worse cause he doesn’t know how to do anything for himself. These are the times when I hate text messaging but I’m the type of person that always answers my texts because what’s the point of my cellphone otherwise?

Meanwhile, I’ve been fighting the mother of all itches. I’ve developed some kind of rash or hives or something on my arms and legs and it’s slowly creeping to the belly. Baby probably doesn’t want me to scratch him or her constantly all day so I asked my midwife to prescribe me something stronger after exhausting all the over the counter creams, lotions, ointments, oatmeal baths and everything else under the sun you can think of that I got off Google. She prescribed me and oral steroid; low dosage. I was all for that until I googled the steroid and then decided I’d rather suffer because the side effects, especially to baby, scare me. I really don’t want to have an alien baby considering how close I am to being done with this whole pregnancy business.

She also put in a dermatolgy consult for me because who better to prescribe me something that won’t harm the body snatcher than a skin doctor. So two days go by and nobody calls me. I call the office and she says the earliest they can get me in is in November. NOVEMBER! I legit told her I’d be dead by then and that’s not acceptable and asked for dermatologists in the area I can spam call that could possibly get me in sooner. She warned me that she wasn’t sure if my insurance would cover it but I’m so desperate at this point I didn’t even care. American health care system is so jacked. Luckily my husband has bomb insurance and the first place I called after explaining my situation and emphasizing how desperate I am for relief, I have an appointment later today that will hopefully cure me at least for the next 7 and a half weeks because apparently the be all end all cure is child birth.

Anyway, there you have it. My blog slacker rant. I probably won’t be posting the rest of this week but I hope to pick it back up next week especially with endangered posts. I have at least two lined up in my mind they just need to be written for when I’m not trying to claw my skin off. I hope you all are having a better week than I am! I’m still going to keep up with all of your blogs even though mine will be gathering a little dust for a bit.

You Know..

This is going to be a little bit of a rant post but here we go.

I want to start by saying I do not condone bullying in any form. In fact, I’ll be the first person to step in and defend the bullied party and/or break up whatever it is I’m witnessing that I don’t like. I wasn’t always this way. I was a really shy person in my past life but my skin is as thick as an elephant’s now and I will be a person’s person (to steal from Grey’s Anatomy) whether we’ve been friends for a a day or 20 years. It’s just the type of person that I am.

Recently on Twitter there has been a storm amongst authors in the romance world. The hashtag has been #cockygate and it’s talking about one specific author who did something that, well, is a pretty shitty thing to do. Basically the story goes, this author decided to publish a book series with the word Cocky in the title because the last name of the brothers she describes in her books is Cocker. One day, I guess, she woke up and decided that she wasn’t making enough money because her books weren’t top in the search results for other authors’ work with Cocky in the title so it was hindering her ability to make money. Her solution? To file for a trademark on the word “cocky” and the font she used (a font she did not create btw), in order to stop authors from using the word.

Now, you’d think she’d stop right there. I mean that alone is outrageous considering she did not create the word and many have been using said word for many years before she was a blip on the author radar. No, she took it a step further. She proceeded to send emails out to authors who had the word “cocky” in their titles and told them to “cease and desist” using the word from this point forward and to change the title of all their books, past and present or she would sue them. If they did not comply, well, sucks to be them because her lawyer supposedly assured her that she would get all their royalties from any books they sell using her “trademarked” word and she’d create a firestorm on Amazon for them.

Now, going back to what I said in the beginning. I do not condone any form of bullying. I really don’t. But you have to ask yourself, especially in a situation like this, what did you think was going to happen? Did you honestly think all these authors would just bend over backwards spending tons of money to change what has already been made and apologize for using the word that wasn’t trademarked previously? I mean honestly, I wonder if people really think through the consequences of their actions before they do stuff. She’s now complaining that she’s being bullied by the Twitter world because people are leaving one star reviews on her book among other things; basically ruining her reputation.

In a case like this, I honestly cannot sympathize with the woman. She went about this the complete wrong way. Authors strive so hard to support each other. I mean it takes time to create and make the most perfect form of a book, it takes courage and confidence to release it to the world and it takes strength to accept that not everyone is going to 100% love your book and handle negative criticism with grace. If she needed a boost in book promotion, I feel like all she had to do was reach out and ask the community to help her and she probably would have received it in droves. Instead she did some slap in the face underhanded nonsense and then proceeded to threaten the ones in the hardworking community.

At the end of the day, I honestly hope she learned some kind of lesson here because this will most definitely hurt her career. I also hope she’s not getting super harrassed because the message is pretty loud and clear from a lowly reader. It doesn’t need to be pounded into her to death.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on the matter.  Have you all ever heard of a situation such as this and thought as much as you want to sympathize with a person, there’s that 95% of you that just can’t? Let me know in the comments below!

Customer Reps

Ever have to call a place to get answers and it takes about 8 times talking to multiple reps to finally get an answer?

I swear I’ve gotten the run around so many times just in the past few days. For example, I received a “final notice” in the mail about a payment for an OB visit threatening to send me to collections essentially if I didn’t pay it. Funny thing is, I paid it 2 months ago. Have a receipt to prove it and even faxed my receipt proof over to the hospital, again, 2 months ago. So the woman goes to look, checks, sees that I did that, and goes, oh well there’s a new balance on your account. Do you want to pay that now?

Um… why would I pay the next bill when they can’t even get the past bill sorted out?? I don’t know if it’s just hospitals in America but if you overpay on a hospital bill or like a student loan bill, they’ll keep your money. They won’t say oopsie, you paid too much, no. They’ll just keep the difference.

Speaking of student loans, that’s another one I recently called about. Called looking to get my monthly payment lowered cause bills are kicking my butt and I want to get caught up. So I call and a woman tells me exactly what to do in order to get my payments lowered to as little as $0 a month for a year. I do that and my April autopay payment went away. I’m thinking, yay! this is great! I have a break to spend money where I want to right? Wrong. They only postponed them for 2 months and then they resume. So I call the woman back and tell her, listen, either I get a lower payment or I don’t pay. They’re student loans. I don’t care about them. Well the last thing they want you to do is stop paying so she tries to get me to go all these other options and I had to keep reiterate what the other rep told me.

Well this pretty much led to her being nasty because I wouldn’t do what she said and she was telling me stuff that was frankly untrue. So I had to get off the phone with her ASAP before I said some things she wouldn’t like. I let that stew for about an hour and then called back and got a helpful woman who apologized for the viscious one.

I don’t get why customer service reps feel the need to get nasty with you. I get their job is to take your money most of the time but do you honestly think I’m going to want to give you my money when you give me attitude over the phone especially considering I didn’t raise my tone of voice or anything and struggled to be as polite as possible throughout my frustration? I love when reps also feel the need to spout how long they’ve been with the company and they know everything when they’re still wrong. It’s truly okay to admit when you’re wrong and put me on hold to get the right answer.

I worked customer service for many years; face to face at that! I don’t think people realize how hard it is to do everything possible almost to the point of getting on your knees and licking the customer’s boots in order to make sure they get off the phone or leave your store happy. It’s a struggle. But to be the customer and get the attitude just for pointing out that someone is feeding you misinformation?? That’s just rude and it’s sad you have to go through about 10 people to find that 1.

But at the end of the day, thank goodness for that 1.

Have you ever had bad customer rep issues? How do you normally handle it? Are you like me and keep calling back to you get the competent one? Let me know in the comments below!

Updates w/ Pictures

Hello! I am apologizing now for totally slacking on my bloghopping/commenting in the past few days. Turns out our 3-5 day flooring project ending up spanning 7 days with a few hiccups, a little bit of stress, lots of stray cats and a fat raccoon. Week before last, I told you all about how we were starting this huge flooring renovation project that basically involves ripping up all the carpet in the downstairs portion of our house and replacing it with luxury vinyl plank because carpet is gross and with baby on the way, I wanted fresh, new, clean, allergy free floors for him (or her) to roly poly around on. Because I’m less than 11 weeks away from popping, my husband had to take all last week off to help move big furniture out of the way and what not cause I’m on a weight lift restriction.

Anyway, our house foundation is part concrete slab and part basement because at some point, an additon was added on. Well when the contractor came and ripped up the carpet, we got this huge surprise at this old looking, 1960’s tile — not just slab under there. At first the contractor was worried the tiles might have asbestos cause they were ancient. That would have threw a big monkey wrench in the project if that was the case. Turned out though there was another layer of tile underneathe the first one… and then in some spaces there was no tile at all. They popped up so easily and snapped easily that he determined (thankfully) that we did not have asbestos and the project continued. Here’s a picture of what 2 layers of 1960’s tile looks like, before and after:

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Please excuse the ugly yellow walls from this point forward btw. We wanted to paint during the Christmas break but most paint has chemicals in it that may cause birth defects so my husband told me absolutely no painting til the baby is out of me. So anyway, here are some pictures of what the floor looked like with the ugly carpet before and then the concrete layer after:

Once down to that base layer, he had to fill in some spots to make some areas of the floor level with the rest. This involved putting down something called Feather Finish which is a concrete mix basically that levels floors. In the one room with the addition that has a wood subfloor, he had to scrape all the staples off and hammer down any nails poking up before filling in holes or rough spots. By the end of day seven, these were the results:

The only place that got new carpet were the stairs because we need that traction. I think it turned out pretty great. Doesn’t look so 1950’s anymore. A few hiccups we had was figuring out we did not have enough flooring by like day three cause some numbers got mixed up between the contractor and the guy we bought the flooring from. Then there was a day or two where he could only work half day instead of the full day. Lastly, we had a transition issue and technically still do around the tile where the woodstove is but he’s working with us to figure that out. Most of the final pictures were taken in the dark so one day when we have sun again, I’ll take better ones.

Oh, as for the raccoon, that happened on the very last day — Monday in fact. He had an extra long work day that day but it was 70 degrees outside so he left the patio door opened while he worked. Lots of animals came walking past like the feral cats because I know they live under out back deck but it was in the night time when he was finishing that  surprised the hell out of me. Here I am sitting there watching him work when a mammal walks past the door. I’m thinking, “hey look, yet another cat.” and then I noticed how it was walking and then it’s coloring and I was like “OMG THAT’S NOT A CAT!!!” I mean he was huge! I’ve never seen another mammal around our house besides squirrels, deer, chipmunks and cats. AND! he came walking out from that damn hole under the deck. Suffice to say I was very glad we had closed the door at that point cause that raccoon stopped in front of the door and walked closer like he couldn’t see humans sitting there or something and I’m convinced he would have walked right in had the door been open.

Now we’re in the process of getting the floors completely dusted and mopped while moving all our furniture back in its proper place. I can’t wait til we’re done with that so we can sleep in our bed again. The guest bed is so hard to me! I don’t care what any of the guests that sleep in it say. I’m quite happy though that our house looks less 1950’s with the berber carpet and more in the 21st century. By next week, after birthday shenanigans, I should be back to my regular WordPress self, at least for another couple months.

Hope you all are having a great week and I’ll try to make tomorrow’s post shorter. 😉

Life Shenanigans

Normally I have time to go through WordPress over the weekend and blog hop and comment and what not. This weekend, that was completely not an option in any capacity. You see, that floor project I discussed a few posts ago commences today and because we always like to be ahead of the game, we prepared the room the contractor would be working in ahead of time so he wouldn’t have to; that means, we moved all the furniture out. And when I say “we”, I mean my husband because I’m not allowed to lift more than 25 pounds being 7 months pregnant and all.

Basically our plan of attack was to clean out closets first and do a bit of spring cleaning. We’ve only been living in this house for a little under 2 years and we came from a one bedroom apartment to a three bedroom house so we’ve accumulated a bit of stuff in that time. You never really realize how much stuff you have though until you go through it all for a big house project. We ended up donating 4 trash bags full of clothing and 1 trash bag of shoes between the both of us and on top of that, got rid of 2 bags of books I knew I’d never read, a 29 gallon bowfront fish tank and a cat tree. The cat tree is the only thing that went to the trash. Then I gave away some odds and ends to my mother in law because she was homeless before and now has her own apartment to accumulate stuff in. We were also fortunate that she came over because she was able to help my husband move some of the big stuff while I just took the small stuff upstairs or relocated it to a temporary spot for the time being.

By the time it was all said and done, we had our dining room and bedroom cleared of furniture (except the bed; that will be moved during the project) and our living room full of furniture that needs two people to move. However, the poor pets are in a sad panda state at the moment. My turtle’s tank had to be drained in order for it to be mobile so he’s sitting in about 3 inches of water for the time being and the cats are locked in a room upstairs until the project is finished. Milliardo is most especially not amused:

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I hope to share some before and after pictures with you all at a later date but for now it looks like it’s gonna be a Wendy’s kind of week (not that I’m complaining!). I hope you all had less exhausting weekends than I did.

Have you done any spring cleaning yet? If you have, are you surprised at the amount of stuff you accumulated over the years? Got any big projects coming up? Let me know in the comments below!

Balance

Recently there’s been a lot of talk in my world about jobs and what people sign up for when they take on a job. For example, I heard a story on the radio this morning about special needs teachers and their preparedness for anything that could possibly happen while teaching the students. I won’t get into the super details but the story involved a teacher who I believed grossly overreacted to a situation she encountered with an autistic student. It got me thinking about my own experiences with jobs I’ve had and jobs my friends have had and I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the matter today.

With everything there are positives and there are negatives. I believe the way in which we handle these occurrences head on is what makes us either better or worse individuals. I’m sure anyone would love to live in a world where ignorance is bliss. In fact the entirety of that quote is “ignorance is bliss; knowledge is misery”. It’s usually equated to a child vs. a grown up. As children (hopefully) we live in this blissful world where nothing affects us much except for the next time we get to play our favorite game or go outside or hang out with our cousins. We aren’t thinking about the real world. Then there’s that point in life where you have to deal with those facts because it either creeps up on you too soon or it’s around the corner waiting to creep up on you eventually. We all have to grow up and be adults even if we don’t want to.

The “knowledge is misery” part of the quote quite fascinated me because I happen to think knowledge is an essential part of life. Most people are thirsty for knowledge instead of viewing it as something miserable. For example, I don’t want to know about politics but I still pay attention because I want to be prepared for anything that occurs in this country that may or may not affect me and my loved ones in some way.

Circling back to the bit about jobs, I feel like when you sign up for a particular job, you have to know what to expect going in. For example if you’re an artist of some sort: writer, movie director, music producer, painter, you have to know going in that when you release your art to the world that there are going to be some who absolutely love it and some who absolutely hate it. Now, I am none of those things but I feel like on some level you have to know what to expect and how to handle what gets thrown at you in any form. Obviously you are going to praise the ones who give you glowing reviews but should you ignore the ones who don’t or worse, call them all trolls or put them down? I don’t think that’s right. If anything, you’d learn from every bit of feedback or critique you receive so that you have a better direction going forward; learn how to to turn a negative into something that can strengthen you and your fan base so that you don’t lose anyone, including the negative Nancies because there is always that possibility that they’ll still support you and even like future works even if this one flopped for them.

Another example, and this is personal experience, is being a manager. Being promoted is a great feeling but with it comes great responsibility and one of those things is the ability to handle a rude customer. First you have have to acknowledge that it’s not a personal attack at you. The person may be having a shitty day. Such is life. Then you have to strive to fulfill their needs as best you can without making it worse than it already is. Now are there some customers who are just rude out the gate? Absolutely. Even so, there are methods in which you can handle the situation that could potentially open their eyes to their own behavior and get them to calm down. Is this a perfect be all end all method? Of course not. But it’s definitely a step in the right direction, I’d say.

One last example is having that tough conversation with an employee who is just not doing what they are supposed to do. I don’t want them to think I’m personally attacking them because they are not doing a great job lately but I also want to make it clear that it’s not going to be tolerated either. Sitting them down one on one and going through what I see and trying to get to the root of what’s going on so that we can figure out how best to proceed going forward is usually the best route. Again, is it foolproof? Absolutely not and sometimes it ends more badly than you wanted it to but sometimes that’s just the right route.

I think life is all about balance. You need to make mistakes and fail to become a better, well rounded person. Sometimes our emotions dictate our actions before we fully comprehended what happened later but if you have the ability to acknowledge that and correct it either in the now or in the future, I think that makes a good recipe for greatness.

What do you think about balancing positives with negatives in life? Do you agree about jobs and what to expect when you take a specific job on? Any examples you want to share? Let me know in the comments below!

Own It

I was talking to my amazing, magnificent friend over the weekend as we usually do and we got on the subject of honesty. We discussed it in the form of book reviews but, like I usually do, I went off on a slight tangent about this particular subject and one of the first lessons I plan to teach my child in the future.

When you achieve something great or are rewarded for a job well done, how do you normally feel? You feel amazing; on top of the world. Then you want to tell everyone you know so they can feel wonderful with you. You are owning your greatness in that moment. You earned it, it was well deserved and you want to flaunt it. That’s a natural reaction to a positive experience right?

So why is it that when a person does something wrong, instead of owning their mistake, they blame everything else under the sun? Or, even worse, flip the tables to make it seem like the other party was delusional in their assessment of the situation because there is just no way you could be wrong even though you KNOW (because trust me, you know) that you were part of the wrong or even fully responsible for it?

Speaking from experience, I understand how easily it is to tell a little white lie when you don’t want to feel the wrath of another person. I truly get it, I do. But I learned over time that that literally makes things 1000 times worse because something so small that I could have owned up to in the beginning ends up getting blown out of proportion and multiple parties end up hurt. Then instead of just one person you have to apologize to, there are many and from there, people’s trust meter of you has faltered a bit.

Losing someone’s trust or even confidence in your own ability to take and receive information is one of the worst feelings. I personally own up to everything I say. If someone asks me for an honest opinion about something, they better be prepared to hear an honest answer. I’m not one for sugarcoating especially when I made the mistake. It’s quite easy to say “That was totally my fault, I’m sorry” or “My bad, I messed up or misinterpreted what you said” to avoid a total explosion of unnecessary drama. Now if I didn’t do it or say it, I definitely won’t take the blame.

When I worked as a manager in retail, this concept was something I pretty much drilled into my staff. If you messed up, seriously, it’s okay. Just tell me so we can fix it together and then you’ll know how better to handle the situation the next time. If you lie to me, I will find out so let’s not waste time. Now, is there times when things should be tactfully said? Sure. But that is one reason why I always lead in with something like “I mean no disrespect but…” and then lay it all out. That way the receiver is already prepared for what I’m about to drop on them but I also hope it makes them feel comfortable enough to do the same for me in return because who doesn’t want 100% honesty all the time?

At the end of the day, I know I can’t make people change. Some people are so good at lying or being two faced that that is their natural instinct. It just sucks for the rest of us who have to figure that out further along in a friendship or relationship instead of right up front. The world would truly be a better place if people owned up to all of their judgments instead of just some of them and not only that, be able to take information, even if it’s information they don’t like, gracefully. That’s the very definition of being an adult wouldn’t you say?

I’m quite interested in what you all think on this topic. Let me know in the comments below and feel free to share experiences of your own if you feel comfortable. 🙂