What Goes In…

Good morning my friends!

It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted a funny story and I feel like we all could use some laughs. As you all know, last weekend, my husband and I went on vacation to Florida with my best friend and her husband for a nice, relaxing getaway in this fancy suite. I still plan to talk about that trip… eventually. I always have so many thoughts in my head. I’m totally contemplating writing about Poldark tomorrow to convince all you lovely souls that you should watch this show. We’ll see.

So while we were driving to Canaveral or Tampa (I can’t remember which), we recounted stories of the past. You see, my best friend and I have been friends for almost as long as I’ve been with my husband (upwards of 10 years). I met her in a video game called Final Fantasy XI and we pretty much connected instantly over our love for being mages in this game. About two years into playing the game, we all got it into our head that we should have a meet up. I live in Ohio and she lived in Alabama at the time. We were all poor college students at the time so airfare was too expensive. We got it into our heads that a road trip would be fun. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, drove a 1993 Honda Civic Hatchback. When we informed my mother of our plans to drive to Alabama in his car, she wasn’t a fan. I remember we had an argument about it because she wanted us to pay for a rental car but hello, poor college students, we could basically only afford gas. I ended up caving though when she offered to pay. I mean if my pennies aren’t being used, I will so take you up on that offer! I was poor, what can I say, haha.

We got a rental car, to my boyfriend’s (husband now) dismay. He was very attached to his old car. Then we packed up and drove 13 hours to Auburn, Alabama. He did most of the driving because I was quite nervous to drive back then. I didn’t get my license until I was 20 but driving in general freaked me out especially considering I was learning on a manual and not an automatic. Have you ever been on a long drive? It can be quite fun. I read or slept during most of it. A lot of people have motion sickness whether they know it or not but man, the best reading time for me occurs on long trips in the car.

We make it to Auburn and decide to plan out our trip. One of the main things I really wanted to do was go to the Georgia Aquarium. I had never been to one before and had heard nothing but good things about that one. I’ve been to the Baltimore Aquarium since that trip and I actually think that one is really cool as well but Georgia has whale sharks that swim over your head and that experience is truly something else. Another spot we hit up was the Columbus, GA mall. My friend wanted to take us because she said it’s a highly rated mall that we must see. I’m not much of a mall goer myself. Too much temptation to spend money I don’t have but It was something fun to do as a group.

The best thing about malls is mall food! Especially he Japanese fusion types of food. If you ever walk through a mall food court, chances are, there are a few people from each stall handing out samples. I can’t remember what the husband ate but me and the best friend decided to split a Japanese meal. They usually consists of you choosing rice or noodles with one meat and a side or pay extra and get two sides. Sides range from plain vegetables to egg rolls to crab rangoon. I believe we got noodles and some teriyaki or bourbon chicken with some veggies. On top of that, we all decided that we all decided we wanted smoothies form Orange Julius. If you don’t know what an orange julius is, let me explain it to you. It’s not quite a milkshake but not quite a smoothie either. It consists of mixing orange juice with milk and adding vanilla and ice. A creamsicle essentially. When you go to Orange Julius, you have the option to choose different flavors. I think we chose raspberry.

We all get back in the car to drive back home and I’m sitting up front with my friend while the guys are sitting in the back. We’re all just talking away when I start feeling really thirsty. I get my husband’s water bottle from him and start drinking it. The feeling doesn’t go away… My friend notices I’m quiet and asks me if anything is wrong. I just keep saying I’m thirsty. So I keep drinking water and trying to listen to the conversation. Next thing you know….

I bend forward and vomit all over the passenger seat floor!

I give my friend credit. She didn’t even brake! There were crickets from the testosterone gallery behind us because everyone was taken by such surprise. I lift my head up, grab the bottle of water, take a sip and state, “I feel better now” and smile; cause that’s just how I roll. My friend’s brother looks at my husband and goes, “Did she forget to tell you something?!”. Poor guy looks at me all shellshocked like, “Did you forget to tell me something?!” We get home and my best friend proves why she’s my best friend. She goes in the house and grabs cleaning stuff and just starts cleaning up my vomit like a champion. Didn’t even phase her. The funniest part? It wasn’t even her van. She borrowed it cause it would fit the whole group! I felt less bad cause I vomited in someone else’s van instead of hers. I’m horrible, I know. Mall food and Orange Julius doesn’t mix well for Nel. (Hey, I rhymed!)

So moral of this story, get all season floor mats in case someone has a case of sickness in your car so you don’t ruin your carpets and what goes in must come out somehow.. eventually. 😉

Has anything like this ever happened to you? Are their food combinations that you know for a fact will not agree with your stomach? Let me know in the comments below!

Breakfast

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. How often have you heard that growing up? As a child, I remember getting breakfast in was easy because my mother made it readily available or there was always cereal to eat. As a teenager, it was always Pop-Tarts. Pop-Tarts were never bad for you back then. They were actually considered very healthy and then the times changed and things with high fructose corn syrup and white bread became very bad for you. Then you hit college and it became all about sleeping more than anything because you had that school grind to follow each day. My dorm room was located in the same building as the dining hall. In addition to that, I used to work in said dining hall so each morning, breakfast was easy because all I had to do was walk downstairs and fill my plate buffet style. That only lasted until I moved into my own apartment at the end of that first year. I still had the dining hall available but that required too much walking to get there so I started skipping breakfast. And that’s sort of trickled into my adult life ever since.

The main problem I have with breakfast is, everything I try to eat is just not filling enough or tasty enough. If it’s not eggs and bacon, it’s fruit and oatmeal. Don’t get me wrong, I do like certain fruits a lot and I don’t mind a good bowl of oatmeal every once in a while but they fill me for about an hour and then I’m hungry again. I also think the weather has something to do with it. I can eat hot stuff all year round. Cold stuff however, I hate eating it in winter which is basically upon us now. For example. this morning, I have vanilla greek yogurt with blueberries and granola in it. It’s tasty enough.. I guess.. but my body doesn’t want to eat it. We can just be honest here. I don’t have time to get up and make a real hot breakfast cause I value sleep more than eating half the time and will shower, get dressed and be out the door in 30 minutes or less just to get those few extra minutes of sleep.

I follow this Facebook page called Tasty which always has good recipe ideas like avocado toast and how to make a poached egg in the microwave but it still all comes down to laziness I think. There’s also the fact that I think each day I wake up, I don’t really know exactly what I want to eat for breakfast until it hits me. I am a huge leftovers fan but I can’t be eating a cheeseburger at 7 in the morning no matter how much I want to cause then I’ll be in food coma before the day has even started. It’s said that if you drink a full glass of water within the first hour of waking up, it’ll curb your appetite for a bit until you can get some adequate food inside of you. I’ve tried that too and all it makes me want to do is pee. The other part of it besides laziness is the fact that nowadays it’s such a big deal to think about what you’re actually consuming that it takes the fun out of consumption itself; at least that’s my opinion. If I have to think about all the carbs and calories and sugars and fats that’s in everything I eat, it’s highly likely the enjoyment I get out of eating will disappear. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about being healthy and I don’t slam people who do all of that stuff at all, it’s just not for me.

You know what needs to be invented? Breakfast soup. I don’t know how it work exactly. Maybe grits in a breakfast broth with some sausage and bacon and a poached egg on top? I’m not crazy cooking savvy or else I’d try that. If someone goes running with this idea, make sure to give me some credit when you’re rich and famous 😉 . That’s all I have for today. I don’t know how I thought up 700 words about breakfast but that’s what I felt like sharing today, haha. What are some things you eat that you find fill you up until lunchtime? Are you like me and skip breakfast more than you should? Let me know in the comments below!

Transition

Hello my WordPress lovelies. I don’t know about you all but I am exhausted. My husband and I got home a little after midnight and since I foresaw this happening, I texted my boss and begged asked if I could have one more day off because I was pretty positive there was no way I was going to wake up 6AM and go to work. Because she’s amazing (and I think she really likes me), she told me the office will manage one more day without me and to stay home and rest.

Before we left Thursday, my husband set the heater to vacation mode. At the time it seemed like a great idea cause who wants to pay a heat bill when you’re not actually using said heat? But then I thought, well there will be two cats and my turtle in the house and they might get cold. My husband told me the cats would be fine cause they had fur and a giant sectional with a blanket on it and the turtle would be fine cause of her heat lamp. Okay, that’s true. Cool! Except then I thought about how it was going to be cold when we came home. And of course I thought this on the plane home when it was way too late….

Suffice to say all the animals are still alive 4 days later. The turtle turned into Jaws when I dumped some food in there and the cats were giving us the stink eye cause they were wondering where we’d been all this time cause we usually come home like clockwork everyday and they get to sleep in the bed with us every night. You know, I always wondered if animals could talk, what they would actually say because man, sometimes those are borderline killer looks.

Anyway, the main point of this post is vacations are awesome. Coming back to try to get your work and schedule groove, not so much. This was the first time I’d vacationed with my best friend and her husband so it was sort of a couples retreat. She and her husband hail from Maryland and we hail from Ohio. The weather difference between our northeastern states and Florida was about 40º F. It was borderline snowing when we left and we arrived to sunny, shed-your-layers, warmth. I’ll go into detail starting next week. I’m going to split up the entire trip over the course of 3 days without compromising Endangered Thursdays and Facebook Fridays.

The one thing about vacationing that I always look forward to is the supposed more time to enjoy or even read a book or at least half a book. I didn’t do any of that. I read maybe 4 chapters total. Its really sad but at the same time I can’t deny that I didn’t have the time of my life doing other activities. I’ve already accepted that I probably won’t complete my Goodreads challenge this year but hey, there is always next year! and the year after.. and the year after that….

I hope you all had a great week. I will try to catch up on posts that I’ve missed. If I missed a post of yours that you would really like me to read, just shoot me the link in the comments below. I missed you all and look forward to get back into my blogging routine. 🙂

P.S. Happy Halloween. Hopefully I get book mail today!

Miniature Hiatus

Hello friends.

This is Nel checking out for a few days. There won’t be Endangered Thursdays or Facebook Fridays this week and there also won’t be a post next Monday. I’m pretty bad at scheduling posts. I prefer to write the morning of cause my thoughts flow out of my interesting brain freshly. The husband and I are finally taking mini vacation in the sunny state of Florida with my best friend and her husband. I’ll still follow my serial writers cause I need to know what happens in my stories (I sound like an old lady who watches soap operas 😉 ) and I’ll check a few of my favorites’ posts but other than that I’ll be off WordPress. However, you can catch me on Facebook or Twitter. If you aren’t my Facebook or Twitter friend that’s kind of sad and you should remedy that situation in order to get exclusive happy pictures before they hit the blog in the next couple weeks as I share my latest tales with you all. I’ll be goooone til November.

Signing off. Have a great week everyone! 🙂

Superhero Showdown

There’s a podcast I frequent by one of my favorite authors. It’s called Science Fiction and Fantasy Marketing and live streams every Monday on Youtube. It features indie authors giving advice and experience with marketing their books. They often feature other authors on the show as well. Three weeks ago Nalini Singh was featured on the podcast (which was SO AWESOME!) and last week the focus was on how authors can get their books into libraries and the process libraries go through to receive books whether you’re indie or traditional. The featured author was actually a librarian as well as an author and he was discussing his new book that he said was in the superhero fiction/urban fantasy genre. That sparked a little bit of a debate in the live chat about what readers consider superhero fiction vs. urban fantasy and how hard it is to find “true” superhero fiction cause it’s being drowned out by urban fantasy. One viewer got quite heated about the subject. It got me thinking about the characteristics and qualities of a person for them to be considered a superhero. In this post, I’m going to discuss definitions found on Google as well as what I personally think.

When the term superhero is used, the images that automatically come to mind are Marvel or DC Comics heroes; i.e. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, SpiderMan, Thor, etc. These are heroes we’ve all grown up with. They have quite an extensive universe as evident by the hundreds of comic books, television shows and movies. However, can we consider a different fictional character as a superhero? Is the definition of a superhero as broad as I think it is? Let’s take a look at some definitions around the interwebs space.

A simple Google search produces this definition:

“A benevolent fictional character with superhuman powers powers, such as Superman”

The one right below it comes from Merriam Webster’s dictionary and states:

“A fictional hero having extraordinary or superhuman powers; also :an exceptionally skillful or successful person.”

These two definitions are quite similar. One implies only a fictional character while the other suggests that a superhero doesn’t necessarily have to be fictional as long as they are skillful and successful. The individual I mentioned above, who got heated during the conversation stated that a superhero is “a costumed crime fighter with super powers.” That narrows it down a bit more specifically with the words “costumed crime fighter”. Now as specific as that definition is, it got me thinking about some of our costumed superhero favorites. For example, the Green Arrow is a costumed crime fighter but he literally has no super powers. He’s just “exceptionally skillful” with a bow and arrow and he’s rich. Hell, even Batman doesn’t have any super powers nor does Iron Man. They’re just highly skilled in tech and they’re rich.

Now, if we look at a character out of an urban fantasy novel, to keep it simple, they’re usually a shapeshifter, a vampire or a witch (or some type of magic user) wouldn’t you say? To take it step further, they are usually in a situation where they’re fighting a villain who has superpowers or some type of non-human super trait that allows them to fight one another. Usually, they are trying to save the human race in some form or fashion even if the human world is governed by these supernatural creatures. The only trait these fictional characters are missing is the costumed part of the definition. Let’s look at the definition of supernatural shall we?:

“(of a manifestation or event) attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature.”

Looking at that definition, would you agree that a supernatural character is not the same as a superhero? But does that not contradict the superhero definition? For example, Superman is not even human. He came from a different planet entirely with powers that are not of scientific understanding or the laws of nature as governed by humans of Earth. But then someone like Spiderman is considered a superhero because his powers can be explained through science, i.e. he was bitten by a radioactive spider who’s venom manifested inside of him turning him super human. Then we look at characters such as witches and wizards. They are a bit of both wouldn’t you say? Some are born with power yes, but they still tap into science as well as nature in order to enhance the power they already have or to draw power into an object making it more powerful.

I asked my husband what he thought of the difference between superhero fiction and urban fantasy (after explaining urban fantasy to him). He stated that he believes that urban fantasy characters can be considered superheroes. He thinks of superheros as people or creatures, who participate in vigilante acts that protect the human race or race of species in general. When looked at it that way, I can agree with my husband that at the end of the day, whether your powers come from science, magic or an alien universe, a character can still be considered be a superhero – costumed or not. I’ll end with this definition from Stan Lee:

“A superhero is a person who does heroic deeds and has the ability to do them in a way a normal person couldn’t.”

What are your thoughts on superheroes in fiction? Do you believe the definition is cut and dry or is it more broad? Do you have any favorite non Marvel/DC characters in a fictional universe that you would consider superheroes? Let me know in the comments below!

Why #1

So this is going to be a bit of a personal post but I need an outlet and what better place than my blog right?

Last night my husband gets a phone call from his brother asking for advice about getting a car started. My husband is very well versed in all things Honda related. He can diagnose a car problem but the sound or by no sound it all. It’s quite fascinating to watch. Anyway, the brother’s “friend’s” car wouldn’t start and he asked for helping in how to get it going again or if it was a lost cause and a tow truck would be needed. My husband declared that it was probably a dead battery and just needed a jump until a new battery could be purchased. He then offered to come jump the car battery with our car. We fully expected his brother to say no because the last time this happened, he said exactly that. Instead, all giggly, he said yes, if you don’t mind, help would be greatly appreciated and the phone call ends.

The giggling is not something I’ve ever heard and I’ve been around for at least 10 years. So of course, I look at my husband and ask him if his brother was high (he doesn’t do drugs but that’s my response to people who act out of character)

He goes and helps then comes home. I asked how it went and he tells me it was what he thought, a dead battery. Then he goes silent. I can just see the things that are weighing down on his mind in that instance. I don’t say anything however because sometimes you need to let people get their thoughts and feelings together before they say what they’re thinking.

Later on, before we lay down for bed, he asks me, “What should I do about my brother?”

You see, last night solidified our suspicions that he’s not being faithful. He’s not married and therefore didn’t make a forever commitment. However, it doesn’t excuse the fact that what he’s doing right now is fucked up. Yes, the f-bomb is required. My response to what he should do, besides punching his brother in the face, is conflicting in and of itself. On the one hand, if we spill this information, we would most definitely be inviting a world a drama into our lives that we do not want and definitely don’t need. On the other hand, there’s that niggling thought in the back of our minds that it’s not our place to spill private information to another individual when it’s not our information to share. At the root of it all, all we can think about is how much he’s hurting the woman who loves him and is mother to his children as well as the fact that he might have this disillusioned idea that we’re okay with his extracurricular activities which is so far from the truth it’s disgusting. The main reason we are, essentially, pretending we’re okay with this is because he suffers from PTSD and we don’t want to make a sort of sensitive situation more volatile.

I’ve always prided myself on being that person you can come talk to about anything and I won’t judge. Well, that’s a bit of a lie. I do judge internally if you’re cheating or doing anything else that’s slimy and nefarious. How can I not? We’re all raised on what we know to be right and what to be wrong and cheating is 100% wrong. If you are not happy, you need to figure out how to walk away instead of continually hurting a person who cares for you and will walk through quicksand to get to you. I know it’s not always as simple as that but keeping secrets is like dumping lighter fluid on wood and hoping that the fire won’t explode in your face when you finally add that tiny spark to the mix. The only conclusion we could come up with is to give the man an ultimatum. Communicate your feelings, even if they’re miserable, to your woman because if you don’t we are going to. We can’t lie for someone who is willingly doing stupid shit, family or not.

This happened to me before with a friend. That time I made my position very clear. She preferred to be ignorant of her man’s extracurricular activities and telling everyone close to her that we don’t know what we’re talking about; she knows him. I will listen and hear you but the minute a person chooses to imply that I’m the liar in the conversation, I feel like I wasted time and energy trying to help fix a problem that a person is content with not fixing. So I walked away from that friendship and I would do it again because I don’t want that level of toxicity to poison me.

Is there a line I’m missing when it comes to this stuff? Are we doing the right thing or is it the wrong thing? Have you ever been in such a situation? How did you handle it? Let me know in the comments below.

Love Angles

The infamous love triangle! I have a love/hate relationships with love angles in any form.

Oh! I should probably outline the love triangle eh? Sorry about that. Let’s start over.

To the right is a pretty neat, cloth depiction of a love triangle. A love triangle occurs when there is a relationship between on individual and another but then feelings “shift” to a third individual and it sort of becomes a tug of war of sorts with the spotlight on the middle person who usually has a hard time picking between the two. It is mostly portrayed in media as a woman who has split feelings or loves two men but can’t pick just one to be with. Sometimes it’s portrayed with two women over a man. It should be noted that this is my interpretation because complicated things come in threes right?

Back to what I said in the beginning, I have a love/hate relationship with love angles. They can be triangles, squares, or even pentagons. If it it’s a book, I absolutely hate reading about them. The reason I hate them so much is because usually they aren’t written very well in my opinion. For example, you have girl who falls for guy. She professes her undying love for said guy and how he makes her so happy, etc etc. Then she meets guys brother and things begin to shift. Brother is able to see parts of her that she never saw before and understands her a little bit more than guy. But she loves guy and never wants to hurt him even though her attraction meter is all of sudden pointing to brother. Now we get into how people have the capacity to love more than one person and that they each individual has a trait that speaks to your soul, blah blah blah.

Stop. Cop out okay.

Now, when it comes to television shows, I am the complete and utter opposite. Give me ALL the love angles. Let’s take a show I’m watching currently shall we? (Sort of spoiler alert maybe. I’m discussing events of Grey’s Anatomy that may not have happened for you yet but if you’re behind, these aren’t big deals to the overall drama that is Grey’s Anatomy so I’m sort of sorry.)  In Grey’s Anatomy, Meredith finally decided she actually, kind of, really liked Dr. Riggs and wanted to explore a legitimate relationship with him. They’re having a great time doing relationship things when word comes in that Owen’s sister, who was engaged to Dr. Riggs, is actually alive and is coming to the hospital. Now all of sudden Dr. Riggs is all about Megan and Meredith has been pushed to the sidelines. For a few episodes you see this struggle cause Dr. Riggs has grown strong feelings for Meredith but the love of his life is actually alive and he kept help but want to rekindle what they lost years before. Meredith was upset at first but, for now anyway, she’s decided that if she was in Riggs’ shoes, she’d do the same thing. So Meredith is trying to push Riggs and Megan together while Megan is trying to push Meredith and Riggs together cause she doesn’t believe Riggs’ can love her true now. It’s so complicated but I love it!

Something similar to the above scenario took place in a book series I was trying out. I was about three books in when this situation went down. I was ready to be okay with the main going with the rebound because death occurred but then the dead person was somehow magically not dead and the main, who had literally moved on, dropped the character she was with like a hot potato and went running back to dead person who’s not dead. I was so pissed I didn’t even finish the book and I quit the series. What is it about reading vs. watching?? My theory is maybe because while watching, I’m being set up for it pretty good that when it happens, I’m not entirely surprised and can roll over this bit of speed bump but when it happens in a book, it’s like the light turning red at that last second and I have to slam on my brakes while screaming profanities at inanimate objects!

Another, simpler example is from the television show Scandal. You have Olivia Pope who bounces between Fitz and Jake. I’ve always been team Jake but I admit to switching to team Fitz sometimes. However, the bouncing around has gotten to the point where now I just hate Olivia and her actions more than the men. In all scenarios, I understand the goal is to increase the drama factor but it almost becomes unbearable at times because the solution is very clear for me! It’s not that I’m condemning polygamy, especially if it’s an open relationship, but most of the time, someone or many someones end up getting hurt when it comes to a love angle. I also get that making people hurt is also appealing to a person’s emotions and that it possibly leads to more in depth, intense emotions that will keep you coming back. Yes, I’m still watching Scandal cause I have nothing to lose at this point as it’s the final season but had it not been, would the show frustrate me to the point of giving up on it?

So I pose this question to you dear readers. How do you feel about love angles in books, TV or movies? Have you ever actually found yourself hating the individual it’s all revolving around more than the individuals on either side? If you actually like love shapes, what are your favorites and do you feel they were executed well? Let me know in the comments below!

(Image Source)

Rumis #1

My post is so late! Aaaaah! Forgive me!

I have a feeling there will be a lot of these posts where I start to want to talk about something and then think of something else that would make a better post but it’s a jumbled assortment of thoughts. We’ll call this series, that will be as random as my mind, rumis as in ruminations of Nel.

A couple amazing people I’ve met through here, I talk to on an almost hourly basis. I love technology because even though we are all in different parts of the globe, we’re able to talk, laugh, cry and be happy together. The individuals I’m referring to, I consider family. I was talking with one the other day and we were discussing that phrase, “You can’t choose your family.” My instant reaction was, “yes I can.” It was a knee jerk response. But then I thought about it and I truly believe you can choose your family. Peela, I’m putting you on blast right now, has been more of a sister than me than my actual blood sister ever has. I mean that is a profound statement to make but it’s sadly true. I only interact with my family on maybe three occasions a year, if that. It’s hard to want to be around people who are constantly competing with each other or are magnets for drama. I have enough drama elsewhere in my life not to want to have to take it from my family too you know?

I started blogging back in February and since then, I can make a whole list of people who are family. Family doesn’t have to be, to steal a quote from Game of Thrones, blood of my blood. I like to be around open-minded, understanding, hilarious, generous individuals. These are like minded people to me. They boost my confidence to continue being my silly, positive, sometimes brutally honest, very emotional self. They expect nothing less from me. Actually they expect nothing at all from me except to continually strengthen this bond we have so that it lasts forever. When a person like that is staring you in the face, how can you not call them family? I mean if you are willing to listen to me rant about everything under the sun from my crappy day to my political views and still love me anyway, you are simply everything.

Anyway, keeping this post short today. I also want to point out that I’ve gotten into the habit of sending people mail and/or care packages (if you’ve never had a Reese Cup, I’m sending you one so you better mention that in the comments below). I want to say that my life is pretty hectic but I haven’t forgotten mail or letters I’ve received from some of my family and I hope to get letters and packages out in the mail before my Orlando weekend getaway later this month.

I love you all! You’re amazing! I hope you’re having wonderful days!

Tales of an Insect

***Warning! This story contains cursing because I curse a lot in real life especially when unexpected things I’m not prepared for occur***

I’m traumatized.

No, seriously. I try to be a good girl and eat my serving of dark leafy greens but CLEARLY, there’s a reason I’m carnivorous and here’s the story detailing why:

For the past couple of days, I’ve been trying to make sure and incorporate my serving of fruit (apple for breakfast) and serving of dark, leafy greens. I’ve slowly taken a liking to sauteed kale which says a lot cause I hated kale before except for in Olive Garden’s Zuppa Toscana soup (it’s soooooo good!). I decided to learn how to cook it the edible way and now it’s not so bad. So I went to the Eagle (grocery store we frequent a.k.a. Giant Eagle) and purchased some kale. Kale is really cheap btw! I thought it was expensive so I think that’s why I avoided buying it, as well as hating it, but it’s only like $1.50 for a bunch. Anyway, I cooked the whole bunch in  my wok and we ate it for two days as a side to whatever protein we cooked that night. (tangents, sorry!)

Yesterday, I didn’t pack a lunch because we didn’t have any leftovers. I decided to go to Heinen’s (pronounced “High-nens”), a higher end grocery store near my work, for lunch. They have a salad bar that I would sometimes utilize when I felt the need to be healthy especially back in my pet retail days. So I go over there and build my salad. I use baby spinach leaves, spring mix which has like argula and stuff in it, bell pepper mix, raw broccoli, bacon bits, egg, sunflower seeds and croutons drizzled with a light Italian dressing. There’s a million and one options at a salad bar but they charge you by the weight of your salad and I would never spend $10 dollars on salad unless it had steak on it (sorry vegetarians). While I’m in the store, I also pick up my boss’ usual lunch as well.

I get back and of course work is a little slammed so I don’t get to eat the salad right away but since it’s in a closed container, I figured I’d mix it up so the dressing would coat all the salad-y bits and I’d have an even spread when it came time to eat it. I finally get a free moment to eat the salad and I was very much enjoying my food okay. Usually, I browse social media or check my personal email while I’m eating but, I’m also the type that looks at every bite of food before I put it in my mouth. You will never catch me eating anything in the dark except for like a granola bar or a Rice Krispy treat.

I happened to look down after taking a bite and I see something very odd looking in my salad. At first I thought it was just a large piece of bacon because they don’t always finely chop the bacon.

Then I looked closer….

And the bacon looked like it had tiny legs….

So I looked even closer…

And I saw eyes! INSECT EYES!

I almost vomited all over my desk. I looked again and moved it with my fork and couldn’t believe what I was looking at.

I roll back in my chair and simply state, “I’m done with Heinen’s.” My boss’ office is right next to me so she heard me say that and goes, “Why, what’s wrong?” I get up and take my  half eaten salad to her and say, “What the hell is that? IS THAT A BUG IN MY FUCKING SALAD?!” (She curses worse than me, just f.y.i., haha) She looks, makes the vomit noise and then tells me, “You better take that salad back to them right now! GO!” Ma’am, yes, ma’am!

To give you an idea of what I saw, imagine a cricket, no a moth, or a cricket with wings, maybe a grasshopper still wrapped in it’s crysallis in my mother effing salad! That’s truly a first for me okay. I texted my husband with lots of crying face emojis telling him I almost ate a bug! I took the salad back to Heinen’s and showed the customer service people and they refunded me my monies. That was nice of them but I’m never eating there again.

Moral of this story is, there’s a reason I’m a carnivore but also, look before you eat ESPECIALLY if you didn’t prepare it yourself. (It’s not lost on me that insects are a source of protein for some but I prefer to eat my salad without eyes, thank you!)

P.S. if you laughed at this story, laughter is welcome because my boss laughed about it all after the fact.

Have you ever had a bad food experience? Let me know in the comments below.

Food Discovery

I was searching RT for a post I made a while ago about types of food that we eat together that some may find weird. However, there are 241 posts on this blog and searching for the word “food” brought up a ton of posts including every Endangered post I’ve written (which are just not related to human food). So failing that, I just decided to start the post anyway. If you go searching for it, and find it, you’re a rock star!

Edit theorangutanlibrarian is a super rockstar! She found the post I was thinking about. Now I owe you cronuts if you ever find yourself in the heart of the nation 🙂 (Click here to read it.) ***

The other day my husband was watching a video featuring Tyler the Creator talking about breakfast food. Based off the snippet I was listening to, he was looking for a new type of breakfast food he could come up with on his own. Throughout the video, he was exploring this shop that made some very interesting pastries that lead me and the husband to a food discovery. Also, at the end he ended up making a breakfast sushi which was pretty cool and worth mentioning. The sushi rice took the form of a piece of a waffle with the raw meat being sausage on top and it was wrapped in a thin sliver of egg which mimics the seaweed. He also made this green butter which mimicked wasabi on the side. All of this was with the help of a chef of course but it definitely made me want to try it.

(Have I mentioned how much I LOVE FOOD?!? Especially breakfast food!)

So anyway, what caught my husband’s eye and made him show me was this CRAZY, COOL pastry called the cronut. You read that right. A cronut! It’s a croissant donut! Donuts are traditionally deep fried to get that sort of crisp outside and soft center where a croissant is usually baked to get that fluffy, flaky texture (I may suck at baking but I understand the processes!). A cronut is a meld of the two sort of? I still don’t quite understand it besides the fact that it’s baked in layers with a donut-y (?) bottom of sorts.

ANYWAY! This beautiful cronut that he was experiencing, was not in this country. So of course I go on a frantic Google search to see if any possible bakery near me makes this wonderful food invention that we just learned about. Now, there are retail bakeries like Dunkin Donuts and Jubilee but it’s a pretty low chance you’ll find an authentic cronut at these places. There is a such thing as a mock cronut! I don’t know what one looks like though because I found a local, mom and pop bakery that makes the real, deal, holy field! Talk about lucky. You pretty much have to wake up at dawn if you want them fresh out of the oven. Since I suck at waking up that early unless I have a very specific reason, I went more around 9am.

I present to you, the cronut:

If you’re wondering, yes, they’re freaking delicious and are slowly ruining a regular donut for me with their goodness. Next time I go, I’m going to try the cruffin (you read that right too; its a croissant muffin!)

Have you ever had a cronut, cruffin or any other crazy, delicious bakery? Any recent food discoveries in general?? Let me know in the comments below!