Tales of an Insect

***Warning! This story contains cursing because I curse a lot in real life especially when unexpected things I’m not prepared for occur***

I’m traumatized.

No, seriously. I try to be a good girl and eat my serving of dark leafy greens but CLEARLY, there’s a reason I’m carnivorous and here’s the story detailing why:

For the past couple of days, I’ve been trying to make sure and incorporate my serving of fruit (apple for breakfast) and serving of dark, leafy greens. I’ve slowly taken a liking to sauteed kale which says a lot cause I hated kale before except for in Olive Garden’s Zuppa Toscana soup (it’s soooooo good!). I decided to learn how to cook it the edible way and now it’s not so bad. So I went to the Eagle (grocery store we frequent a.k.a. Giant Eagle) and purchased some kale. Kale is really cheap btw! I thought it was expensive so I think that’s why I avoided buying it, as well as hating it, but it’s only like $1.50 for a bunch. Anyway, I cooked the whole bunch inΒ  my wok and we ate it for two days as a side to whatever protein we cooked that night. (tangents, sorry!)

Yesterday, I didn’t pack a lunch because we didn’t have any leftovers. I decided to go to Heinen’s (pronounced “High-nens”), a higher end grocery store near my work, for lunch. They have a salad bar that I would sometimes utilize when I felt the need to be healthy especially back in my pet retail days. So I go over there and build my salad. I use baby spinach leaves, spring mix which has like argula and stuff in it, bell pepper mix, raw broccoli, bacon bits, egg, sunflower seeds and croutons drizzled with a light Italian dressing. There’s a million and one options at a salad bar but they charge you by the weight of your salad and I would never spend $10 dollars on salad unless it had steak on it (sorry vegetarians). While I’m in the store, I also pick up my boss’ usual lunch as well.

I get back and of course work is a little slammed so I don’t get to eat the salad right away but since it’s in a closed container, I figured I’d mix it up so the dressing would coat all the salad-y bits and I’d have an even spread when it came time to eat it. I finally get a free moment to eat the salad and I was very much enjoying my food okay. Usually, I browse social media or check my personal email while I’m eating but, I’m also the type that looks at every bite of food before I put it in my mouth. You will never catch me eating anything in the dark except for like a granola bar or a Rice Krispy treat.

I happened to look down after taking a bite and I see something very odd looking in my salad. At first I thought it was just a large piece of bacon because they don’t always finely chop the bacon.

Then I looked closer….

And the bacon looked like it had tiny legs….

So I looked even closer…

And I saw eyes! INSECT EYES!

I almost vomited all over my desk. I looked again and moved it with my fork and couldn’t believe what I was looking at.

I roll back in my chair and simply state, “I’m done with Heinen’s.” My boss’ office is right next to me so she heard me say that and goes, “Why, what’s wrong?” I get up and take myΒ  half eaten salad to her and say, “What the hell is that? IS THAT A BUG IN MY FUCKING SALAD?!” (She curses worse than me, just f.y.i., haha) She looks, makes the vomit noise and then tells me, “You better take that salad back to them right now! GO!” Ma’am, yes, ma’am!

To give you an idea of what I saw, imagine a cricket, no a moth, or a cricket with wings, maybe a grasshopper still wrapped in it’s crysallis in my mother effing salad! That’s truly a first for me okay. I texted my husband with lots of crying face emojis telling him I almost ate a bug! I took the salad back to Heinen’s and showed the customer service people and they refunded me my monies. That was nice of them but I’m never eating there again.

Moral of this story is, there’s a reason I’m a carnivore but also, look before you eat ESPECIALLY if you didn’t prepare it yourself. (It’s not lost on me that insects are a source of protein for some but I prefer to eat my salad without eyes, thank you!)

P.S. if you laughed at this story, laughter is welcome because my boss laughed about it all after the fact.

Have you ever had a bad food experience? Let me know in the comments below.

Nel

Happily married, bookaholic, Netflix-a-holic sharing random experiences and interpretations of my world which is brutally honest most of the time.

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37 thoughts on “Tales of an Insect

  1. OMG. Ohhh my gosh!! This is the worst food experience, ever! I can totally understand you’re traumatized… eww!! cricket with wings… I cannot even begin to imagine!!

  2. I’m sorry but this made me laugh. Did you take a picture of it?
    Mine was a Ladybug, I had a ‘bacon bit’ ladybug once. I laughed my ass off but it I couldn’t eat it. I inspect my salads more thoroughly since. Bugs (most bugs) don’t freak me out. I’ve actually eaten bugs, and yes on purpose.

    • Hahaha laughter is acceptable. It makes me laugh now that I look back on it. I took a picture of it but of course in my hurry to get back to the store, I left my phone on my desk and had to use my tablet so it’s not the best picture. It was like an inch long and a centimeter wide Cim!
      When I think of eating a ladybug, I can’t help but think of the Lion King, “slimy and satisfying!” hahaha.
      You’re brave. I’m the type where it just needs to not have eyes before it hits my plate. I’m not sentimental about the animals I’m eating but I can’t look them in the eye, lol. It’s weird.

  3. This is all too common! It made me laugh because it happened to me twice at Costco. I always get the grilled chicken salad and twice now I’ve had a huge black fly in my salad. I even found a beetle in my chicken enchiladas at a Mexican restaurant though, so it’s not just produce. For me, it’s eating out in general.

    BTW, kale is one of the dirtiest leafy greens that should be eaten organic, but its always full of bugs depending on when it was harvested. I’d hate to think how many bugs I’ve eaten over the years in just my homemade kale chips alone. They’re tiny bugs and you have to look for them. Truthfully, bagged kale is the best because it’s normally triple washed.

    Sorry for the traumatic experience, Nel. πŸ˜‰β€ So gross, but I hope it doesn’t deter you from eating leafy greens. Hugs πŸ’•

    • Beetle?? I’ve seen worms on fruit but I’m immune to those and they are not as gross as everything else for me. You’re right though, we’ve all probably eaten tons of bugs without knowing it. I read an article once that said we’ve all probably eaten tons of spiders just while sleeping in our lifetime. I would like to choose what bugs I eat though thank you, haha!
      Nah I’ll still eat my leafy greens, I’m just gonna stick to buying them myself and washing them off versus relying on a salad bar from now on, hahaha.
      Hugs <3

      • Oh my gosh! Spiders freak me out and I don’t like to think about that. I think that eating packaged foods is supposed to be the worst, but wow, I see so much on produce that needs to be cleaned off. Organic is so much worse too, especially celery! <3 I hope you don’t experience that anymore. πŸ™‚

  4. I guess they didn’t rinse the greens well enough. I know when I get herbs from my garden I have to rinse of the insects well. Sometimes if I don’t do a good enough job with my mint, I see dead boiled bugs in my homemade iced tea.

    I’ve got a snake in my herb garden sometimes, too. At least he doesn’t show up in the food.

    • Oh god. Can you imagine accidentally cooking a snake?? That would throw me for a loop. Clearly, I need to obtain more gardening skills so I can become immune to this kind of stuff lol

      • Every time I go to my herb garden I jump up and down and yell. That usually scares him away. Everyone tells me it’s just an innocent garden snake, but it looks scary to me.

        I certainly wouldn’t want to eat snake, though I see they eat snake on shows like Survivor. I do like eel meat in Japanese maki rolls.

  5. LOL my goodness!! i am sorry i am laughing but the trauma must have been something else!
    I’ve had two experiences with salads. And this is why i never order green salads as sides for anything. i take my fries. It was a snail once and the other time, a bug of some sort. Moral for me: don’t buy salads!

    • A snail??? Omg. Yes that’s my new moral too which sucks cause I really don’t make salads at all on my own. They always go bad before we’re able to eat them all.

      • With time you learn to make just enough. The same used to happen with me when I started out on my own here. But now, with time, it works…. Yup. A tiny snail on romaine lettuce.

    • Girl! I mean if it was a small bug, maybe I wouldn’t freak out so much but it was huge! like a freaking almond in a salad with no almonds, hahaha. That’s a problem! And Heinen’s is supposed to be clean, organic, homegrown, all those healthy terms!

  6. I’m so sorry to hear that Nel. Very gross!!! I like to watch my food before each bite and even move it around to make sure I can identify everything on the plate before I put it into my mouth especially when it’s takeout. I did encounter a fat worm in a veggie rice once needless to say my stomach was not as hungry anymore.

  7. Oh my! I’m usually pretty laid back about bugs and it takes a LOT to gross me out, but the might have done it! I had to laugh (sorry) when I read cimmeriansentiment’s comment. I actually did chomp on a lady bug once. Ladybugs have the vilest taste in the world. Even smelling their secretions (ewwww) is horrendous. Typical of nature, though. The most beautiful of creatures tend to be the grossest or deadliest. Nel, I’m so glad you found that thing before you ate it. Ewwww, the mouthfeel alone..ewwww

    • Aaaaah Linda! Mouth feel! I can’t imagine eating ladybug! I know crushing them is the worst cause they smell like stink bugs so I can only imagine that taste and I don’t even want to! Bleh! I’m glad I found it before I ate it too. It’s going to take quite a while for me to ever eat another salad again. Thanks for sharing your experience! <3

  8. Omg, that is so gross! I would have probably thrown up, lol! I had to laugh though at your telling of the story! It wasn’t funny you had a alien bug in your food, but the way you told it was!I never check my food, but I will now!! I hope your next lunch is bug free… πŸ˜‰ xxx

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