Let me start by saying, I absolutely love this woman! like LOVE times 9000!
Now then, to get an idea of where this post is going it would probably be a good idea to read Linda’s post first. Click her name.
You see, I so graciously nominated her for this lovely award but I cheated. The rules state that you are supposed to ask your nominees three questions not regurgitate the questions asked of you. It’s actually forbidden to do so, am I right Linda? Since I broke the rules, I’ve been re-awarded. Not be confused with rewarded! Make sure you understand the difference! Rewards from Linda are not given lightly. So not only am I charged with answering the three questions every blogger receives with this reward but I have bonus questions for being lazy which will definitely make me think twice about taking the lazy way out the next go around.
1. If you could live in a Dr. Seuss book, which would you pick?
I would choose One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. That was always an awesome story because it talked about all the different fishes and other animals you encounter. I look back on it now as an adult and see it as a great learning resource for children to recognize that people and places are not the same and how unique that makes the world in general.
2. If you could have perfect weather, what would it be?
Perfect weather is a dream, okay? I live in Ohio. That means the weatherman is always wrong! For example, today is supposed to be sunny with a chance of rain. A CHANCE sounds like a small percentage say 5-10%. I’m not even paid to predict anything (though how cool would that be??) and I know it’s more of a 90% chance it’s going to rain. You can smell it in the air and dark clouds are a giant indicator. Think the weatherman needs to take a walk outside and absorb the air before telling us lies.
I digress. My perfect weather would consist of all 4 seasons perfectly in the parameters of the months that they are supposed to be in. That means no snow in May dammit.
3. What question would you like to ask yourself?
Right now I’m asking myself why don’t I have time to read? You’d think after leaving a demanding job to a less demanding job I’d have more time to read but I’ve been on the same book for almost a week and that is very uncharacteristic of me! I’m also asking myself why did Prince go and die because Kiss is playing on my Pandora right now and I’m jamming!
Now on to my bonus questions. I mean they were literally demandingly specific to me. If you don’t believe me, that means you didn’t click on Linda’s post. SHAME! Click it now.
It should be noted here that Linda is totally psychic because she asked the first part of the question and then guessed that I do not indulge in caffeine delivery systems in the morning but I still have to answer the questions as if I did indulge because I’m a writer and I can do this! YEAH! (Were you possibly a cheerleader in a past life? I wasn’t because that defines girly which I’m not but curiosity and all that)
You’ve just awoken. You haven’t had your coffee/tea/preferred caffeine delivery system yet, and the following people are making demands of you as you endeavor to start your day. What do you say to each of them?
1. Husband/wife/domestic partner:
This is easy. My husband is always gone when I wake up. He works the dead people shift; i.e. the hours between 3am and 9am everyday except Sunday. Nel is usually knocked out in dreamland somewhere. On Sundays, he doesn’t wake me up either cause his body is so used to waking up that early that he’s up and I’m still sleep. Did I mention how much I love sleeping?
Yeah….. I’m not there……. yet. Ask me again in a year.
If it’s Isabel: “SHUT UP! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Lots of grumbling. She has a habit of howling like a hyena (she’s a cat for crying out loud!) at the crack of dawn and I want to kill her cause my alarm hasn’t gone off yet.
If it’s Milliardo: “Go away drooly. I don’t want your drool on me.” He’s also a cat, btw. Or if I’m walking around he likes to walk in front of me and plop his body in my walking path because it’s a game of the human might possibly step on me but if she steps over me I’m going to to try and grab her feet with my sharp clawed front paws or bite them.
I’m going to go off of today and say “I keep forgetting to bring your pie pan back! I’m so terrible! I promise I’ll bring it back tomorrow!” I’ve been saying this since Monday because somehow I keep walking out of the house without it. I blame the cats!
5. X with X being a person/being of your choice
I’m going to say X is M. Not as in XM radio if that thought possibly crossed your mind. M as in my MIA co-author. She may not post on the blog but she texts me every morning about work related things or about the book she’s reading that I forced her to read. Remember, I like to read vivaciously through others. If you haven’t read that post, click here.
You know, mail is not my thing unless I know something is coming for me. That’s my husband’s territory. In my defense, I got this way because when we lived in an apartment there was only one key to the mailbox and since he always gets home before me, he held the key and would always get the mail. So now I just don’t think about it and if there’s mail for me, he puts it on my laptop or opens it if it looks important and tells me about it later.
7. A fellow blogger (not me because I know what you’d say to me!)
I feel like the sentence would start with “HAHAHA….” or “Listen….” because we would probably be continuing a long standing conversation about something or other. You all make me laugh or smile in some form or another so thank you for that 🙂
I DON’T DRINK COFFEE OKAY! I know! It’s a crime! I barely drink tea and pop is out of the question. Unless we’re talking ginger brew. Does that count??? If I were to see a Barista, and I’m going based of Starbucks here, I would probably tell her she spelled my name wrong.. I get that a lot. I guess Chanel is a really hard name to spell and often comes with a phantom “T”.
I don’t talk to my neighbors…. Listen, in my defense, they’re all old people. And I mean like 80-90 years old. Before you judge me, the one across the street likes to sit in his garage off to the side where he thinks people can’t see him and stare at us when we’re out in about. The one across the other street (we live on the corner), came over to talk and was literally stuck on the fact that we’re a young black couple in a predominantly white neighborhood and pointed out all the black people he knew that lived on the street. (Thanks guy.)The third neighbor is a hermit. Well except the time he walked over and into the house when we were being shown to it by the realtor. Other than that, haven’t seen him. So tell me, would you talk to my neighbors? Be honest.
10. Random guy in elevator
Is it Idris Elba? Or is he on Idris Elba’s level of hotness? Is this too shallow?? Oh wait, I’m only half awake here so I would probably say “Hey, floor 3, thanks” and go back to being a zombie until I got my caffeinated delivery system in my system.
Did I mention how much I love Linda? Because I most assuredly do. This was so ridiculously fun that I can’t wait until the next one. Linda, please keep being your lovely, snarky, awesome, folk-hating, stellar storytelling self! <3 If you haven’t followed her yet, there’s something wrong and you need to remedy that situation right now!